"Has anyone seen Sherlock?" asked Buffy.

"Not since he took off with his spy glass," said Xander.

" Well, it's getting dark and he shouldn't be out there alone. I'm going to go check on him." She left the group and walked toward the indention left by Paul Bunyon.

"Buffy! Wait! I'll go with you," Spike said. He ran after her. "You shouldn't go alone. Will told me there is something very odd in Sherwood these last few days."

She looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"He's been seeing strange things at night. Nothing he can drag out of the bushes. I don't actually know because he wasn't able to put anything into words. More like sixth sense stuff."

"A vampire who thinks something is strange. Isn't that in itself strange?"

They arrived at the site but Sherlock was nowhere to be seen.

"Sherlock!" Buffy shouted and Spike echoed the call. Only silence greeted them."

"Maybe we'd better have a look round. I don't like the feel of it." Concern was written on Spike's face. Funny, thought Buffy, I've never seen him worried.

"It's getting dark, Spike. I'll look around. Why don't you get the others and we can spread out. We'll have a better chance of finding him."

Spike agreed and left her there. She walked down into the impression. In the dusk she saw footprints that led away from the path along the deep pit made by the large form of the giant and blue ox. At the bottom she was not able to see above the crater.

Really deep, she thought. I didn't think he weighed enough to make such a hole. The dark was beginning to envelope her. She stopped, listening. A scratching sound was coming from the far end of this unnatural hole. Very quietly she edged toward the sound. Darkness exploded around her.

She awoke to the sound of her name being called. The voices were far away and above her. Far above there was a small opening which allowed the light of a half moon to shine down upon her.

"Down here!" she yelled. Her attempts to reach the opening were unsuccessful. After several jumps she began to look around. It was a tunnel. Farther down were lights. Pipes were bolted to the walls, stretching into the darkness above the lights.

"Electricity!" she said. "Where is this place?"

"Buffy?" It was a voice above. Heads appeared at the opening of the hole in the sky.

"Yes. I'm down here. It seems to be a tunnel."

Robin looked through the opening. "A tunnel? To where?"

"I don't know, but it seems to be made of concrete and there are lights and electricity."

"What kind of city?"

"Never mind. See if my friends can come down without hurting themselves. I think we need to look into this."

"Right. We'll get some rope and let ourselves down. Stay where you are. Be with you in a moment."

A scraping noise sounded behind Buffy. She whipped around and faced a creature wrapped in musty rotting bandages. It was dragging its left foot whilst approaching her. Its right hand was caught up in the rotting swaths of bandage. Dark eyes glared with centuries of hate and its left hand extended fully in front reaching for her throat. The stink of mildew and death surrounded her. She spun, kicking this menace in the chest, and it sailed into the wall with a thud. Dust and clay powdered up around the impact point.

Guttural noises rose from its dry dusty throat. Pushing away from the wall it propelled itself toward her, arm extended. Both legs were locked at the knee and produced a stumbling gate.

Buffy pumped her arm straight into its chest. Her fist broke through the bandages and through its spine. It reeled back then pressed on. Her elbow cracked across its jaw sending it clattering along the cement floor. The guttural noises were freed. They came louder and more urgent. The thing, halted by Buffy's elbow, turned its head slowly forward. The momentary rest over it once again moved toward her.

Buffy jumped straight up and shot the soles of both feet into the thing's head which flew backward and shattered against the wall. As Buffy dropped back to her feet a heap of dust lay before her.

"You all right?" asked Xander letting go the rope. The others were sliding down into the light of the tunnel.

"Yes, I'm fine."

"What is this place?" asked Willow as she touched the floor. Spike was sliding into view.

"I don't know but I think we need to look into it. Notice? Electricity in the time of Robin and his merry men?"

"Doesn't belong," said Archie. Jughead nodded in agreement.

"Is Robin coming?" asked Buffy.

"No. He doesn't like being underground. Said he'll be there enough when the sheriff finally catches up with him. Merlin stayed behind as well. And Peter is too worried about Tinkerbelle to leave her. Something not quite right about that relationship."

"Look who's talking," said Xander to Spike.

"All right, that's enough boys. Let's go that way. I heard noises down there."

They set off into the light of the large tunnel.

The lights on the walls were not bright. The tunnel continued on and on. The group, huddled together, continued on.

"I'm getting hungry," said Jughead.

"You're always hungry," said Archie.

"You know, I'm hungry, too." said Buffy.

As they continued on in the tunnel they came upon a wooden panel with a button on the wall beside it. A sign read "Push me."

Buffy moved to push the button. Spike grabbed her hand.

"Don't you have a cautious bone in your body? That could be a trap."

"Nonsense." Buffy pulled her arm away and pushed the button.

The panel slid upward disappearing into the wall and exposing a cavity in the concrete. On the shelf were plates filled with foods. Turkey, ham, sausage, lettuce, tomatoes. A tumbler of rich red blood warmed to 98.6 degrees stood on the shelf next to Spike. He took it from the shelf and held it up to the light. "Nice vintage," he said, swirling it around in the tumbler. He took a mouthful and swished it around and across his tongue. "Mmmm.." With that he upended the glass and swallowed greedily. "Ahhhh, very nice." As he placed the glass back he found another next to it.

Jughead found hamburgers which he quickly dispatched. Xander Popped off a turkey leg and Willow took a plate of vegetables which she dipped in a blue cheese salad dressing. Archie found hot dogs next to the hamburgers and began to slather chili on the bun.

Buffy watched all of them incredulous. "Don't any of you have a cautious bone in your body?" she said, looking straight at Spike. Spike, a sheepish grin on his face, lifted the second glass to his lips.

"Oh, shut up and eat. You said yourself you were hungry," said Spike.

"It's not like we're at Mickey D's," said Buffy. "Why is this here? Where did it come from? Why does it smell as if it were freshly prepared? This is insane. Full course meals in the middle of a tunnel underground twixt 12th century and the 21st century. Doesn't any of this seem out of the ordinary to anyone but me?" asked Buffy.

"No more so than our first season on TV. No more than meeting Archie and Jughead from Riverdale. We were hungry. We needed food to continue on. The food was provided. Can't you just accept that and go on?" asked Spike. Everyone, looking at Buffy, nodded in agreement.

"No, I can't. there has to be a reason. Someone must be manipulating us for a purpose." Buffy leaned against the wall. Xander offered her a turkey leg. She lifted a broccoli stalk from Willow's plate and dunked it. "Haven't you ever wondered?"

"What's to wonder?" said Xander. "We live. We eat when we're hungry. Everything is provided. Why does there have to be a reason for everything? Just enjoy the moment because we never know what's around the next corner. You'll need your strength. So eat up while you can."

"That's your answer? Eat, drink, enjoy for tomorrow, who knows?"

"Good enough for me," said Spike finding another glass of the rich red. He swirled it beneath his nose then drank it down in one gulp.

"And finding this food doesn't make you curious, at all?"

Everyone returned the used plates to the shelf. The wall slid down automatically.

"What, no dessert?" said Jughead to no one in particular. The wood partition slid upward again and on the shelf were pies and cakes and ice cream. Puddings and cookies and fudge adorned the shelf.

Everyone except Spike dived into the newly laid out feast.

"Aren't you going to eat dessert?" Buffy asked Spike snidely.

He shrugged his shoulders. "No oatmeal-raisin," he answered.

"For goodness sakes! Let's get on with this. I'd like to get home sometime tonight."

"No more philosophical questions?" asked Spike.

"None! I'll just get on with it. No thought necessary with this group."

They started on. A way past the shelf of food the took a right turn. The light was better down this new direction. They picked up their pace. Xander stopped in his tracks and everyone bumped into him. "Omigosh!"

Everyone peered around his shoulder. "Omigosh!" they all said.

On the left side of the passage hanging on the wall were Merlin, Robin, and Peter. There were many more but they were unknown to the group. None of them moved. All of them were attached to hooks and their chins rested on their chests. They weren't breathing and their eyes were closed.

A faint light flickered in Peter's fist. Jughead fainted.

"Somebody wake him up. We gotta move on," said Buffy. "Xander, where are you going?"

"I have to check the light in Peter's hand." He walked over to Peter hanging on the wall. He looked at him for a minute, shook his head and took his hand in his. The light blinked softly inside the loosely made fist. "I think Tink is in here but his hand is locked up. I don't know if I can pry the fingers loose."

"Let me have a look." Buffy joined him and took Peter's hand. Peter did not stir. The light began to blink more brightly. She applied Slayer force and opened the fingers wide enough for Tinkerbelle to drop to the floor. Xander picked her up and gently carried her over to the group. She lay in his hand, a faintly pulsating light.

"Is she all right?" asked Willow. " We can put her in this pack. She'll be comfortable while she recovers. Guess Peter hid her so no one would harm her."

"OK, I've got Jughead awake," said Archie.

"About time, mate. Can we get on with it now?" asked Spike.

"There seems to be a little more light 'round the bend there. Let's check it out."

They grouped together and began to walk slowly in the direction of the light. There had been no sound except their voices through all of this, but, as they approached the corner, they began to hear muffled sounds.

"It's like a chant," said Willow. "Something like a spell."

No words could be distinguished. The sounds took on a lilting quality as they approached the corner of the tunnel. "Take a look Xander," said Jughead.

He cautiously peeked around. "Whoa," he whispered.

"Take a look, Buffy. I'd swear that was Snow White."

Buffy eased around the corner and stood still. "It is."

"What?" said Spike, nonchalantly walking around the corner. "Snow White? And the seven dwarfs? You gotta be...."

It was. She was walking up to Spike. She was holding a apple out toward him. "Would you care for a bite?' she asked.

"As a matter of fact I would, luv." He grabbed her. His powerful hands buried in the flesh of her arms, he jerked her into his chest. He looked back at his companions, "I've always had a thing for Snow White." His forehead altered, his eyes turned red and his fangs sprouted as he took the plunge into her jugular. She angled her neck for him and sighed.

At the precise second his teeth were about to plunge into warm flesh he stopped. "What is this? There's no pain. There's no warmth in this flesh either." He released her. She staggered back. Her eyes went red. She looked at the seven dwarves behind her and arched her eyebrows. They swarmed over Spike. She laughed wickedly and turned into a hideous green-skinned crone covered in black rags.

She laughed while the dwarves gouged and tore at Spike's flesh. He rose up and threw them into the walls. They bounced and returned to their hideous work forcing him to his knees.

"A little help here!" he screamed slapping them away.

Buffy jumped into the slashing teeth. She drop kicked two and elbowed two more. Her blows cracked their heads as they clattered to the floor and lay still. The three left looked at their companions lying lifeless and sprang at Buffy. Whirling at the first movement she bloodied one and caught the other two by their greasy locks and broke their heads with one quick snap together.

"Spike, are you all right?" It was Willow. She ran over to him followed by the other stunned followers.

"Fine, I'm fine," said Spike rising from his knees. The last dwarf ran away into the dark holding his bloodied scalp in place.

"We'd better stick close together and be ready for anything," said Buffy taking the lead. "Anyone see the hag leave?"

"No, but she came from that direction." Archie was pointing toward the distant chanting along the dark corridor in front of them.

"She wasn't alive," said Spike. "There was no blood coursing through those veins. There was no warmth in her skin. I know the undead and she isn't one."

The perplexed look on Buffy's face brought a shrug to Spike's shoulders. "Only telling you what I know."

All of them shivered as the ice cold air from somewhere in the darkness ahead passed across their flesh. The once bright light was now extinguished. Darkness invited. Hollow laughter echoed from the walls.

"Do you hear that?'

"Sounds like someone's playing a cha-cha rhythm on wooden stakes," said Spike.

"Shhh.. Listen. There's singing. Kind of an Alvin the chipmunk voice."

Behind them coming closer was a voice. "Give a little whistle....give a little whistle..."

"Please stop singing that song, Jiminy. It grates after a while." The voice came from the darkness behind them. "Besides, you need to keep it down. You've seen the creatures we've run into. Now pipe down."

The light was very dim but Buffy and the others saw a puppet without strings talking to something perched on his hand. He stopped a few yards away from Archie who was in the rear of the group.

"See," he said. "I told you we'd meet more. That flaming hair! Another monster!"

He flipped his arms backward. His mittened hands flew backward clattering on the cement floor, exposing pointed wooden stakes. They were dusty.

"Come on!" he cried. "I've got your number!"

"Whoa, mate," said Spike. "You've got nothing to fear from us."

"Who are you then?" said the boy made of wood. A tiny suited cricket peeked around his neck and said, "Yeah, who are you?"

"Name's Spike and this is Buffy. That's Archie with the orange flaming hair and his fiend Jughead. And this is Xander and Willow. Now who are you?"

"I'm Pinocchio and this is Jiminy Cricket."

"Hello, glad to meet you," chirped Jiminy. "What are you guys doing down here?"

"We've been traveling for miles and for days trying to find out what has happened to our world. Everything is all cranky."

"Yes, I know what you mean. The world has changed drastically. Bright sunshiny days are gone and rain and dark skies greet us each morning. Not only that but all our friends seem to be different. They have a darker side. Is it like that with you?"

Archie spoke up. "Uh huh. It all started with Betty and Veronica gong missing."

"Betty? Veronica? Those names sound familiar. Where have I heard them?" mused Jiminy. He hopped over to Willow's shoulder. "Hello."

"Hello," said Willow. "You're a cuty. Small too. About as small as Tinkerbelle."

"Is Tink here?"

"Yes, here in my pack." Jiminy hopped into the pack.

"She seems out of it."

"We know. Don't know what's caused it though."

Spike walked over to Pinocchio. "Some weapons you got there. They look like they've punctured a few villains. Here let me get your hands so you can cover those points. No need advertising your secret." He handed him the two wooden hands.

Pinocchio fitted them back on the ends of his arms.

"Thank you," he said. He started to say something else but the air was filled with a high pitched scream coming from Willow's pack. "Jiminy!" he shouted.

Up out of the pack blasted the little cricket with yellow fairy dust flaming out of his ass. Tinkerbelle jumped up onto the rim of the pack rubbing her legs together in a chirping sound.

"What the hell you doing' you two-bit fairy?" yelled Jiminy who landed on Willow's hair.

She jingled and chirped in his direction. "She bit me! Stinking little fairy bit me on the neck!"

Everyone fell to the floor in a fit of laughter. Everyone, that is, except Jughead who was walking forward intently listening to something up ahead.

Buffy composed herself and touched Spike. "Look. Jughead must hear something."

They all gathered themselves and began to follow. Jiminy rubbed his neck and shook fairy dust from his antennae. Tinkerbelle edged closer looking intently at the little fellow offering him his top hat. He jerked it out of her hand and popped it onto his head.

They followed Jughead for a long way. The darkness began to glow with a greenish light and they heard, or rather felt, a deep humming up ahead. Jughead stopped and turned his head back to his companions. "Shh..Listen," he said.

Buffy walked past him and saw two over large doors. Three inch oak studded with iron circles. They were askew on their hinges. The humming came from the other side.

They crept closer to the large iron studded wooden doors. They were not snug but leaned away from the chain lock, askew from the door frame. Blackness pulsed out at intervals, a floating aerial ballet up and beyond into the shadows on the ceiling. Once or twice one of the black phantoms passed through the friends hunched together. The shivers brought on by the touch rattled their teeth.

"I think I'd like to go home now," said Jughead.

"We've come this far, we can't turn back now," added Archie. "Buffy, how do we go beyond these doors? That chain is double the thickness of any I have seen. We don't have a crowbar or a...."

Buffy leaped toward the door and kicked with all her strength. The wood cracked and splintered before Archie's eyes.

"...an axe. Or we could just kick it in."

Buffy slipped around the door fragments into a dark shroud that hung beyond the opening. "Shh. Keep quiet and follow me," she whispered.

Everyone followed her into the blackness.

Several moments later they emerged from behind the blackness into bright blue light. They walked to the edge of, to all appearances, a huge stadium. They stood at the highest point looking down upon stone seating reminiscent of Roman ruins. Far below they saw movement and the lilting melody of classical music drifted up to their ears.

"Look," said Xander. "Dancing hippos in tutus. And, there. Alligators in Lincoln green and feathered hats chasing to the pirouetting beasts. It's like a scene from Fantasia."

"It is Fantasia. Silly twit," said Jiminy.

Buffy pointed down the steps to the middle of the area at center. "Notice that? Guards posted around that huge glass box. Notice the pulsing light coming from the box? We need to find out what that is. See how the blue light spews forth at regular intervals? I have a feeling that may be the answer to our question."

"You mean, What is the meaning of life?" asked Xander.

"No. My question is what is the meaning of death?" said Spike.

"No. It's where are Betty and Veronica?" said Archie.

"Do they serve dogs and beer here?" asked Jughead.

"I don't think there's any hope for any of you," said Jiminy in disgust.

Tinkerbelle was rubbing her leg against Jiminy's. The chirping noise it created made Jiminy sweat and move away from her. She eased over to him again and fondled his antenna. He blushed and slapped her hand away.

"Will you two cut it out. You look like Buffy and Spike having a go at it," shouted Xander.

The guards below looked up in their direction.

"Now you've done it." Spike shoved him. Xander tripped and began to topple down the steps. It was a long way down and two of the guards in front of the glass box began to run in his direction.

"All together!" shouted Buffy. They raced after Xander. Buffy took both guards on. They lay at her feet when the others arrived. The dancing hippos and Alligators ran in the opposite direction. The music stopped. The hum of energy grew loud and dim with the pulsing of the blue light from the box several yards from them. Buffy started for the central attraction.

"Wait!" shouted Archie. "It's Betty. And there's Veronica."

It was true. Veronica was slinking toward them in a black negligee. Betty stood with her feet apart and her hands on her hips. She stared at Archie. He stared back.

"She....she's dressed like Vampirella."

She stood in her thin crimson short shorts held up by the red sashes that stretched across her melon breasts just enough to make it acceptable to a G-13 audience. She stepped out toward Archie, her voice a husky sexual cadence, "Oh, Archie. I've been looking for you. It's time for us now. Come quietly...."

"Don't listen to her, mate. Her intentions aren't those of that fresh blonde virgin you once knew. She has designs on..." Spike stopped talking when he noticed Archie was reaching for Betty's hand. Then he caught sight of Veronica. Her smile revealed brilliant white fangs at least three inches long. Spike felt his two inch fangs. "Yours are bigger than mine."

"Oh, yes, Spike my love. We can make beautiful havoc together." She took him by the hand and began to lead him away from the group just as Betty was leading Archie in the opposite direction.

"Let them go," said Buffy. "We have to get to the box."

She sprinted toward the glass encasement. The guards marched around to form a wall to stop her. She went through them with no effort. They all lay bruised and bleeding on the hard-packed floor. Xander and Willow stepped over and around until they reached Buffy's side.

"What the..."

"What is it, Buffy?"

"It's Walt Disney. He's spinning in his grave because of what has happened to his family entertainment empire."

"And you think that is what has caused all the malfunctions in our world?" asked Xander.

"Think about it, Xander. When 'Adventures in Babysitting' came out it was the first Disney movie to have a swear word. It made Disney turn over in his grave. Those who controlled his empire must have noticed the energy that surged into their efforts. They located the source. It was Walt. Next they went further into more 'mature' adult fair. He began to spin in his grave. More power was generated. They tapped into that power and the money began to pour in."

"Yeah, Buffy, but how did things go so wrong?" asked Willow.

"Notice which way he's spinning?"

"Uh, counter-clockwise?" asked Jughead.

"Head of the class."

"So how do we change things back?" asked Xander.

"I think his spin is lined up along longitudinal lines facing South to North. If we could push the glass box so that it faced North to South then his direction of spin would be clockwise and it would fix everything back."

"Stupidest thing I ever heard," said Jiminy.

"No stupider than any other story line we've had. Let's give it a try. Help me push the box around. Xander there. Willow here. Tink, you and your honey there. Good. Now heave."

They all pushed and strained. The entire glass container began to move. As it came closer to the North-South alignment the pulsing light began to change from a deep blue to a paler blue then to just bright and finally to a steady yellow glow.

With a final jolt the case locked into place. Brilliant sunshine burst in upon the scene. Betty and Veronica were once again pink skinned teenagers in bobby socks.

"Wait," said Spike. "I know we can have a blast, Veronica. Come with me and I'll show you things you've never dreamt of."

Buffy kicked him in the shins as Veronica giggled and said, "Oh, Spikey. You know I could never leave my Archie."

Betty took Archie's other arm and planted a kiss on his cheek. With the smack of that kiss they were gone. Vanished.

Tinkerbelle looked at Jiminy, touched her lips with her fingers, frowned and began to spit violently. She disappeared in a cloud of fairy dust. Jiminy leaned into Willow's pack and retrieved his hat. The moment he placed it on his head, he disappeared, too.

It was Spike who brought it up. "Uh, we're back in Sunnydale folks."

"It's true," said Willow. She looked at Xander who was looking at her with cow eyes. "How about a malt?"

"Oh, Xander, I'd love one. I think we can get two straws at the malt shop."

"Think Wally and the Beave will be there?"

"I don't know about them but there's a sign on the telephone pole. It says Ricky Nelson is going to be singing today. Maybe we can get a booth."

"Spike?"

"Yes, Buffy?"

"Would you like to go get a malt?"

"Tell you what. If you'll dye your hair black and get a leather jacket I'll pick you up at eight. And don't be late."

"Ooooh, Spikey."

The sun was high in the sky as Spike ran a comb through his bleached hair. Butch Hair Wax made it fall right in place. He squiggled the curl round until it fell just right into the middle of his forehead. He slid the comb into his hip pocket and slipped the box of Marlboros from the roll in the sleeve of his white t-shirt. He popped one into his mouth and snapped his Zippo into flame. He sucked in a heavy drag then hopped on his Harley, kicking it into life. The roar of the engine brought glances from all the chicks.

One dark-haired beauty in a pink sweater and poodle skirt walked up to him.

"What's your name, honey?" asked Spike.

"Drusilla," she said, twirling her umbrella. Her canines sparkled as she smiled at him.