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Paul Edmund Norman's Monthly Online Literary Magazine ~ July 2005 Issue No. 81
A CHALET GIRL IN TROUBLE
by LISA TOWNSEND
Chapter 9: Grainne Does Some Thinking
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MEANWHILE,
back in Len’s room, Grainne had wakened and was lying staring blankly at the
ceiling of the pretty room. It still had not sunk in. All she could think was
that she was so tired and she wanted to sleep and sleep and maybe this horrible
day would only be a dream. She turned on the bed towards the wall, and curled
up into an embryonic position, cuddling the blanket as close to her as she
could.
She
was just drifting off to sleep again when the door opened softly, and Grainne
turned to see Matron standing there, with grave kindness on her face. She crossed
the room to look down at the girl.
“How
are you feeling now?”
“Tired,”
Grainne admitted.
“I’m
sure! You’ve had quite a day. And now, you’ve not eaten anything for hours. I’m
going to send to the kitchen for something for you, and then when you’ve eaten
that, I’ll get you some spare clothes, and we’ll put you in the spare room in
Miss Annersley’s suite.”
“Do I
have to eat?” Grainne asked. “I really don’t want anything.”
“Even
so,” Matron returned firmly. “You’re completely empty inside at the moment, and
that won’t help matters! If you really aren’t hungry, I’ll ask Karen to send up
some soup and fruit. Do you think you could manage that?”
Grainne
looked down. “I’ll try.”
“Good
girl! I’ll make that order now, and be back with you shortly,” and with a
cheery nod at Grainne, she left the room.
Grainne
lay back again. While she was quite happy, in her exhausted state, to be kept
away from the others at this point, part of her wondered why she couldn’t join
the other girls. She wasn’t ill, after all! Maybe they were ashamed of her too,
she thought. Maybe they don’t want the other girls to have anything to do with
someone who’s as wicked as me.
What
would she do? She was under no illusions about her mother, and had indeed been
at boarding schools for so long that she barely thought of her parent’s large
house near
At
this point in her thoughts, Matron reappeared with the tray. She helped Grainne
to sit up, and Grainne thanked her in a toneless voice that made Matey glance
at her worriedly. But she knew well enough what her reputation was among the
girls, and did not expect the Irish girl to confide in her. Nevertheless, just
to prove that her bark really was worse than her bite, she left the girl with a
quick pat on the shoulder. Grainne glanced at her as she departed, but she was
too busy trying to force herself to eat the food to do any more. Eventually,
she managed to finish the soup and drink the rich milk provided, but the fruit
made her retch, so she pushed the tray away again, and went back to sleep.
A
couple of hours later, she was woken from a dreamless sleep by a gentle hand on
her shoulder, and she turned to see Miss Annersley.
Grainne
blushed red, and immediately started to rise, but the Head prevented her by
shaking her head, and seating herself next to the girl on the bed.
“How
do you feel now, my dear?” she asked conversationally.
“A
bit better,” Grainne mumbled, sure that that was what Miss Annersley wanted to
hear. The Head looked at her keenly, and put her hand under the girl’s chin to
force her to look straight at her.
“Is
that quite true?” she asked quietly.
Grainne
glanced up and met the Head’s grey eyes. She gave a funny little gasp. “I-I
feel awful,” she admitted shakily. “This all feels like a bad dream. It can’t
be happening! I just want to sleep,” she repeated.
Miss
Annersley gave a nod. She had spoken to Matey, and was not altogether surprised
by this. She rose, and pulled the girl up with her.
“And
now, you’re coming with me,” she announced decidedly. “Matron has left some
things for you in my Annexe, so you’re going to be my company for the night!”
She stopped and gave a soft laugh, and Grainne’s eyes widened as she looked at
her.
“You
mean, I’m not being kept from the others because I’m a bad influence?” she
asked anxiously.
“Oh,
my dear girl! Not at all. We simply think that, as you’ve had a hard day and
have a lot to think about, you might be better away from the others. Matron and
Nurse have several bad colds in San, so we don’t want to put you there and risk
you getting ill as well! Besides, you’ll like my spare room,” the Head added
confidently, as she steered the girl down the corridor. “We redecorated it over
the Easter holidays to freshen it up. It’s cream and lavender, and very nice,
if I do say so myself! There’s a little bookcase filled with all of Mrs
Maynard’s books if you want something to read, and I’ve put a lavender filled
pillow on the bed to help you sleep. How does that sound?”
By
this time, they had reached the Annexe, and Miss Annersley had turned a
doorknob as she spoke. The door swung open to reveal a room furnished as
charmingly as she had described, and Grainne gave a little gasp of delight,
forgetting her problems for an instant.
“It-
it’s lovely!” she exclaimed. “Why, it feels like a home,” she added, rather
shyly, and the Head’s eyes softened as she looked at her.
“It
is a home- it’s my home! I’m glad you like it, my dear. Now, I’m going to make
us some tea and then you can go to bed. You can read for a while if you like- I
don’t mind. But remember, child, you’re not alone. I’m here and you can call
for me any time you want me. And another thing,” and the Head’s voice deepened
a little, while Grainne listened intently. “Don’t forget to ask for God’s help
too. Now I’m going to boil the kettle!” and she left on the word, leaving
Grainne to sit down on the edge of the little bed and think on her last words.
Miss
Annersley was not long in making the tea, and she returned with a small tray
holding two steaming cups and a plate of lemon biscuits that had been sent over
from Freudesheim that morning. She handed Grainne her cup before sitting down
herself, and kept a light conversation going whilst they drank their tea, even
making Grainne laugh as she recounted some of the funnier legends the school
had accrued over the years. As they finished their tea, the Head noted that
Grainne’s eyes were looking very heavy, and she was rather white. Consequently,
she encouraged the girl to get ready for bed and to go straight to sleep. Once
Grainne was safely in bed, the Head tucked her up and turned the light off as
she left the room, reminding Grainne to call for her if she was wanted. All the
same, as Miss Annersley headed towards her own room, she felt satisfied with
her handling of the girl, and as she sank down in an armchair to read before
retiring herself, she hoped that they would all have a quiet night.
Her
hope was belied. Grainne slept soundly for several hours, but then the dreams
started, and she roused the Head by crying in her sleep. Miss Annersley found
that there was nothing she could do beyond holding Grainne until she calmed
down again, so she left her once more after checking that she was warm enough.
Grainne then found herself unable to get back to sleep. She had been having
truly horrible dreams, and had no desire to risk a recurrence of them. In
addition, she was starting to feel that she’d done enough sleeping for the
moment, and it was time to start thinking seriously about the position she was
now in,
She
waited quietly for some fifteen minutes or so before moving. She had been
surprised by how quickly the Head had come to her, and she had no wish to rouse
that lady once again, after all her kindness. As noiselessly as she could,
Grainne then left her bed and went to sit at the broad windowseat and look out
on the moonlit rose garden.
Resting
on head on her knees, Grainne thought back over the events of the past few
weeks. Suddenly a lot of things had become clear. Something must have happened
at one of those parties with Sinead, and her mother had come to hear of it.
Grainne repressed a shiver. It had probably been worse than that, she admitted
to herself.
Her
mother would not have removed her from Holy Family unless it was absolutely
necessary. Elizabeth O’Malley was had been very proud of the fact that Grainne
was the fifth generation in her family to attend the prestigious convent
school, and it would have taken more than a few whispers to make her take so
drastic a step as to remove Grainne, and then send her to another continent
altogether. Grainne was not stupid, in spite of her naïveté. She saw that
Reverend Mother, who had a positive horror of scandal or gossip in all its
forms, would have perhaps heard something about those parties, and that would
have been enough to induce her to refuse to allow Grainne to return the
succeeding term. Her mother, as Grainne saw now, would have been highly
embarrassed. Thus her own arrival at the
A
fierce resentment welled up in the Irish girl. She could see why
This
was further complicated by the fact that while Grainne had as good an
understanding of the purely scientific aspect of procreation as most girls of
her age, she was not totally clear about the actual process itself as applied
to humans. All she did know was that married women had to endure what the nuns
had described as a ‘cross’ that somehow resulted in children, but, she puzzled now,
she was not married nor likely to be, at her age!
She
had got this far in her thoughts when a sudden cold wave of fear washed over
her. She remembered that even in Catholic Ireland, there were some girls who
had babies, even when they weren’t married. Grainne, given her sheltered
background, did not know very much about what actually happened to them, but
she had heard enough about the Magdalen Asylums to assume that it was highly
unpleasant. They were being punished for doing something that made them
shameful and dirty in the eyes of society- something Grainne herself must also
have done. As she sat, rocking slightly, she made a decision. She must find out
exactly what had happened in those parties, and precisely how babies were made.
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