TO Grainne’s relief, she found that Len had been correct in saying that her stay with the languages mistress would rouse very little comment. Most of the girls in Upper Iva had the sense and sensitivity to put two and two together and come to the right conclusion, and also to realise that voicing their opinions was unnecessary- at least in the hearing of either Cecil or Grainne.

Hilda Randolph was, as might have been expected, an exception. When they realised that Grainne was not to be living in school that week, she made a remark to the effect that her own earlier assessment of the situation had been right, and for her part, she thought that was just the way it should be! Fortunately, Grainne did not hear this, but Cecil did, and she gave Hilda a look that made that young lady wish she had held her tongue. She knew that Cecil was quite capable of either speaking to the form prefect about it, or indeed, of going straight to the Head herself. However, Cecil had no desire to create further tensions, so she kept what she had overheard to herself, much to Hilda’s relief.

Grainne found to her dismay that the previous week had had a bad effect on her marks, and determined to throw herself back into her work. Luckily for her, Rosita had the sense to reason with her.

“That’s daft,” she pointed out. “The Staff know what happened last week. It wasn’t your fault! I don’t think they’d let it affect much. ‘Sides, you’re new, so you wouldn’t be going in for Form or Subject prizes in any case. I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you.”

“But that’s not the point!” Grainne wailed as she sipped her milk- the conversation took place during Break. “There’ll probably be more interruptions. At this rate, I’ll never get a remove!”

Dorothy grinned at her. “I’m not so sure,” she remarked. “Apart from the last week, you’ve worked like a right slogger. And you were always in the top five. Myself, I’d be surprised if they didn’t put you up to Inter V with the rest of us.”

“Confident, aren’t you?” jeered Cecil in response to this, and the rest of Break descended into a scrap between the two of them.

In fact, although Grainne was not to know this until later, Dorothy was absolutely right. The Staff had determined to give Grainne her remove in the new academic year, and not just because of her work, as Rosemary Charlesworth, the History mistress, pointed out.

“Inter V, even though it doesn’t always seem like it, is a senior form,” she told the rest of the Staff one evening over their coffee. “Their timetable is more flexible than in the Middle School. As well as that, it is an intermediate form, so if Grainne needs to spend two years there due to her circumstances, no-one can say anything and it won’t hurt her education long term.” With which statement the Staff agreed.

Meanwhile, once school work was done, Grainne found that her evenings at Len’s were full. Len allowed both girls to help her with all aspects of Baby Gina’s care, and even went one step further and asked Con to bring little Evie over, so that Grainne could gain experience in handling a very young baby.

“She’s so tiny!” she marvelled, as she watched Con ‘burp’ the baby.

Con laughed. “She’s bigger than she was when she was born! She really was tiny then. OK, then, are you ready to have a go at giving her a little feed and burping her?”

“I won’t hurt her?” Grainne asked, as she had done with Gina.

Con laughed again. “No. I’m not going anywhere- if I think you’re dangerous, I’ll take her away from you!” and she gave the younger girl an impish grin that contrasted sharply with her usual dreaminess.

Reassured, Grainne took the baby from her mother, following the instructions given by both Len and Con on how to support the baby’s head correctly. Then she had to manage the bottle and all the various dribblings, before finally attempting to ‘burp’ the baby. The sisters had shown her two methods of doing this- one, by putting the baby over her shoulder, and the other by holding her in a sitting position. After some experimenting, Grainne decided she preferred the second option- although that was partly a result of little Evie ‘bubbling’ all over the back of Con’s soft pink jumper. By the end of the week, Len announced to Reg that Grainne had become reasonably proficient in feeding and winding a baby, if nothing else!

On the Wednesday night, Grainne found she could not sleep. That afternoon, Len had caught her on her way between lessons to let her know that she was to be excused prep for once and that Daisy Rosomon would meet her in the entrance hall at the end of afternoon school. Grainne had been startled and anxious about this; it did not sound pleasant.

Her forebodings had been correct. After Daisy had supplied her with Kaffee und Kuchen, she had spoken to her gently about the range of options open to her. Some of them had shocked Grainne deeply, and she had said little to the doctor. That lady had returned her to Len’s with some anxiety that evening. She had handled the issue as sensitively as she could, but that did not prevent her going back to her own home feeling more than a little disturbed. Grainne had said very little, either during the appointment or on the way to Die Rosen, but beyond whispering a few words to Len telling her, there was little Daisy could do.

Grainne lay awake and stared into the darkness. She could hear Cecil’s soft breathing across the room, but knew there was little point in rousing her. Cecil was a deep sleeper as Grainne had already discovered in these past few days. What was she going to do? Would she, could she, follow one of the options Daisy had given her- to simply refuse to go through with it? Daisy had told her it could be arranged easily. As soon as she had given the word, an appointment could be made for her at the San. In a week’s time it could all be over. Part of Grainne- a very small part, but a part, nonetheless- was tempted. It would be so comforting to have the operation Daisy had mentioned, and for everything to return to normal. Yet Grainne knew, inside her, that if she did follow that path, things would not ‘return to normal.’ She would know what had happened, and that knowledge would change things irrevocably for her. But what to do?

She made a sudden decision, and moved her covers back softly. Quietly, she left the tiny room she shared with Cecil and crept along the dark corridor to the little dressing room that was currently being used by Gina. Grainne opened the door as silently as she could, and padded lightly across the floor to stand and look down on the sleeping child. Len had told her that Gina disliked sleeping in total darkness, so the shutters stood open, allowing the bright moonlight to flood over the cot.

Grainne knelt down on the floor beside the cot and put her hand through the railings to touch the tiny girl. Gina moved, and Grainne froze. She had no wish for Gina to wake and scream. Then Gina snuggled down again, and Grainne could breathe easily once more.

She remembered all she had learnt over the past few days; remembered feeding little Evie, and the satisfaction of realising that the baby was comfortable and secure enough in her arms to drop off to sleep once she had been fed. For the first time, she thought ahead properly, and realised that in eight months time, she could well be responsible for a baby of her own. The thought terrified her, but at the same time, she did not want to take the route that Daisy had put before her. It was too drastic; too final. Grainne did not think she could live with the consequences of that action. She looked at Gina again. No, she could not do that. That meant she had to consider the other two choices Daisy had spoken of- allowing the child to be adopted, possibly by one of the families living on the Platz, or keeping it herself.

She was so deep in thought that she never heard the door open again, and it was only with difficulty that she prevented herself from yelling with surprise when she felt a hand touch her shoulder. She turned to see Dr Entwistle standing looking down at her.

“I-I’m really sorry,” she began, breathless from the shock.

The doctor shook his head and placed a finger to his lips. Then he beckoned her to follow him. Once they had reached the little room downstairs that he and Len shared as a study, he shut the door, switched on a lamp, and told the girl to sit down.

Grainne did so, and sat watching him. He removed his jacket and tie-he had been on duty at the San- and then rolled up his sleeves before sitting down himself and placing his feet on the desk.

“Is everything OK, Grainne?”

“I was just thinking,” Grainne mumbled back at him.

He looked at her very kindly. “Can I help?”

Grainne met his eyes for the first time, and relaxed. “It’s just I saw Dr Venables this afternoon. She-she said I don’t need to keep the baby if I don’t want to.”

Reg kept his face carefully expressionless. “No,” he agreed. “She’s right there.”

“I didn’t know what to do,” Grainne confessed. “I couldn’t sleep and I was thinking and thinking. And I thought that maybe if-if I did that, it would solve everything. But it wouldn’t, would it?”

“Probably not,” Reg returned after a moment. Inwardly, he was surprised at how well she was reacting. From what his wife had said, he had expected a frightened child; instead he was faced with a girl who, although undeniably innocent, was approaching her problems with a maturity and gravity he had not seen in women several years her senior. His respect for her rose, and that was reflected in his response. “I grant you it would appear to solve the problem,” he told her honestly. “But- inside yourself, you’d know what had happened. When things like this happen, Grainne- you change. You can’t go back to being the kid you were. Even if you have the procedure- it wouldn’t change what’s happened inside you, to your mind and your feelings.”

“That’s what I thought,” Grainne said, surprising him again. “So I’m not going to. But I still don’t know if I want to keep it myself. What would happen about school, for one thing?”

“That could be arranged,” Reg replied, watching her face as he spoke. “The School would do their best for you.”

“But wouldn’t my being there, with a baby, cause problems for them?” Grainne protested.

Reg looked sharply at her. “Has anyone said anything to you?” he demanded. Grainne flushed painfully and said nothing. After making a mental note to tell Len, or to speak to Hilda Annersley himself, he decided to leave it. Instead, he reiterared his assurance that the School would do their best for Grainne, and she nodded, apparently satisfied.

“Or I could have it adopted,” she said suddenly. “Dr Venables said there are people on the Platz who might take it. Who would they be?”

“I’m not sure. The Peterses, maybe. They’ve had two adoptees already. Another possibility would be Dr and Mrs Maynard. Mrs Maynard loves to have young babies around, so she might. Or even Len and myself, assuming we can get more room.”

“So it’d be well cared for,” Grainne said wistfully. She fell silent for a long while, and Reg sat waiting for her to speak again. Eventually she raised her head and faced him. “Can I ask you something?”

Reg grinned at her. “You may!” and Grainne relaxed enough to smile back at him.

“What could have caused this?” she asked abruptly.

“What do you mean?”

“My cousin said she put something in my drink. Could that have happened?”

Reg nodded. “Unfortunately, yes. There are some drugs being developed that dissolve in liquid, and they can cause amnesia- that’s forgetfulness. You don’t remember anything that’s happened afterwards. Some people manage to get hold of them, and they use them for ‘fun’. I think that’s what has happened to you, from what I’ve heard.”

Grainne flushed a little as she realised how much he knew. Then she told herself not to be so silly. It had been perfectly obvious that Len had passed various pieces of information on to her husband, and at the moment she could only be thankful for that.

“I wish I could remember,” she whispered, and Reg looked at her with pity.

“There’s nothing I can say to make it better. Except that we’re all here for you.”

She looked up at him and he saw her eyes were shiny from unshed tears. “I know. Everyone’s been so kind. I can’t believe how kind they’ve been.” She was silent another moment. When she spoke again, Reg had to strain to catch what she said.

“Will it hurt?”

Reg felt a little awkward at the question, despite his years as a doctor. For a fleeting second, he contemplated rousing Len, but then banished the thought. Grainne had asked him, and as he looked across and met her anxious eyes, he pulled himself together and responded. “Yes. But there are drugs we can give you so that it’s not so bad. I’ve been told it’s more like hard work than anything else.”

Grainne nodded, and managed a watery smile. “It’s a shame I won’t get good marks for it then!” and he grinned back at her.

“Do you feel any better now?” he asked gently, after another minute had passed. Grainne gave him a shy smile.

“Yes. Thanks for listening, Dr Entwistle. I still don’t know what I’m going to do. I just know what I’m not going to do. But I don’t need to decide straight away, do I?”

“Indeed not!” he assured her. “You’ve got several months ahead to think on it- and your summer break is coming up. Lots of time then to think- without little distractions like schoolwork!”

Grainne laughed, and seeing her look brighter for the moment, he decided it was time to bring the conversation to a close. It was nearly three o’clock in the morning, and Grainne had to go to school later on. He rose.

“Come along into the kitchen and I’ll make you some cocoa,” he suggested amiably. “And then you should try to sleep. I’ll send a note in with you in the morning for Mat- er, Matron, and she can send you to lie down for a time. Oh, and before I forget, my name’s Reg. Don’t let me hear you calling me Dr Anything in my own house again!” and with another grin at her, he rose and led her from the room to the kitchen, where they made their drink before departing bedwards.

As Reg had predicted, Matron did indeed send the girl to sleep in her cubicle in Daffodil for a couple of hours the following morning, before sending her off to join the others with the injunction to come straight back to her if she felt tired again. Grainne, on the other hand, had been so relieved to escape from the little lady, of whom she was still rather scared, that she had no intention of doing any such thing.

However, those who watched her throughout that day noted a new appearance of calm about her. “Almost as if she’s made up her mind on something,” mused Cecil, desperately curious but too well mannered to ask. She was not the only person to wonder, and more than one person heaved a small sigh of relief when Len finally passed on the information that Grainne had made one crucial decision.