Stand back!"

"Now, Buffy, you know we can't do that. We've trapped you. No friends. No mentor.

No students. Just you."

"Do you think I'm afraid?'

"Well, hell, yeah you're afraid. It isn't hot here. Midnight in the dead of winter inside this mausoleum. That sweat across your forehead and upper lip is strictly from fear."

"Stay away. I have a steak."

"Mmmmm. Rare I hope."

"No, the rare ones are at home. Bought in Hungary last year during training."

"Ah, quite the comic. Calm under pressure. Hah!"

"No!"

"I see you are jumpy my dear. I wasn't going to hurt you. No need to back up. Here let me take those bags."

"No. Everyone's expecting me home with these snacks. The Midnight Fright movie is coming on. They'll be out looking for me soon."

"Oh, right. Like they will be coming here."

"Shortcut. They know about it."

"What did you do, file a flight plan?'

"No, but they know I should be back by now."

"Well, boys, what do you think? Shall we wrap her up and take her home or just eat her here?"

"HERE! HERE! HERE! Here."

"What have we here then? Newly arrived? Clean off the dirt from your suit, my boy. Your first time. Shall we let him go first? All right. Have at her."

"Arrrr............UMP!"

"I told you to stand back." She drops the bags, whirls around dropping two of them with steel heels for just such occasions. Her hands fly in all directions at once downing three more. She stoops, shoves her hands into the split brown grocery bags, and jumps up slamming each of them in the chest. They all drop and turn to dust.

"Buffy! Are you all right? We have the grill ready and the TV tuned to Midnight Fright. The movie had started so we knew something was wrong since you weren't back. See you didn't need any help though."

"I sure could have used some."

"No worry now. Here let me help you with the bags. Hey, where are the steaks?"

"They were frozen ones. I had them sliced to sharp points just in case. We'll have to settle for wieners."

“What are you saying?

"I'm saying those frozen steaks didn't work."

"Of course they worked. Those blighters turned to dust."

"Maybe, but when those suckers thawed and that blood touched the ashes--instant vampire!"

"But that was beef blood."

"Temporary solution remedied quite nicely by passers by entranced by the rehydration. They're back and upset. That transformation is painful, I'm told."

"No need to worry, it'll soon be sunup."

"WRONG!" roared the dark and evil face before them where the door used to be. It lay to the side splintered and buckled.

"Be ready! Positions!"

"Oh, don't think we'll be taken in again, Buffy. We're going to tear you all to pieces and feast."

"Over my dead body."

"Quite."

Buffy ran to the closet and yanked stakes from the shelves whipping them through the air to her friends. They were snatched midflight by each one.

"Careful now. Draw back the curtains and we'll all watch the new day's sunrise together."

The darkness outside was now grey with outlines of trees becoming distinguishable against the lightening sky.

"This will have to be quick. We don't have much time."

The room was awhirl with flailing arms and heels. Two steaks were skewered and flipped to the gill. The steakless gaping holes were happily filled with wooden stakes which clattered to the floor in a pile of dust.

The weaker ones fled the scene as the leaders gathered into dustbunnies on the floor.

"Nice of them to deliver the steaks to the door. Only problem is they are going to cook into shoe leather. There's no bloody juice in 'em."

The steaks sizzled on the grill. Each of them looked at the thick unjuicy slabs of meat turning into crisp brown beef jerky.

"Who wants a wiener. I got the buns. Now where is the catchup?"

"You know, one day I'd like to have a get-together that is without incident. No spooks, no blood suckers, no hairy werewolves...just us normal folk."

"Who you calling normal?" blurted Spike in the dark corner flattened against the wall in the shadow which was getting smaller through the normal rising of the sun.

"Well, do you want to save Spike or not?"

"Mmmm, let him squirm a bit."

"I need that shade drawn!"

"Not so fast, my friend," said Buffy. "We'll help you if you'll tell us what's going on here."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the sun is inching closer and I'd like some answers."

"Help me to the cellar and I'll tell you what I know."

"All right. Xander, throw that blanket over him and lead him down to the cellar."

He tossed the blanket over Spike and made certain the sun's rays did not pop through any cracks as they side-stepped through the door into the hall way leading to the cellar door.

"Hold it right there!" A man with orange hair and another with a jagged beany stepped up to the walking blanket. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Who are you and how did you get in here?"

"I'm detective Archie and this is my partner, Jughead. We're on a case and we need to talk to this man you have wrapped up in the blanket. Spike isn't it?"

"Yeah," Spike said pulling away the sheet. The hallway was dark and safe.

"We've been looking for you. You're never around during the daytime so we came early to catch you before you go to work."

Spike laughed his eyes glowing red. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"We're looking for two girls gone missing forty-eight hours now. They were last seen with someone of your description."

"Inspector, what is it you want?"

"I think Spike had something to do with the disappearance."

"Yeah? Wha' they look like?"

"One's blonde, the other brunette. Been in their early 20's now for about 50 years."

"Are you crazy?" said Buffy stepping between the Archie and Spike.

"It's all right, Buffy. I can handle this," said Spike. "You look a little worn out there boys. Your orange hair is turning grey and you have wrinkles under your eyes. Look at your dopey friend, Jughead is it?--He needs an adult hat not some cloth crown from the 40's. Yeah, I know Betty and Veronica. I met them a long time ago. They wanted to keep those fresh young bodies and youthful looks and I promised it to them long ago. They were happy to help me for the gift. As for missing, no they aren't missing. You boys are the ones missing. You disappeared from the scene years ago when you graduated high school. You went off to college and became criminal investigators, but you took ten years to finish a four year course. On top of that you couldn't even find your way back to your home town. This is Sunnydale, not Riverdale. You ran into Betty and Veronica because you happened to stumble into the local hangout they chose as their feeding ground. They disappeared because they didn't want any questions asked about how they stayed so youthful. You got no reason to come question me because there is no mystery except how you characters stepped into our universe without an invitation."

"This isn't Riverdale?"

"No. Totally different town and world," said Buffy. "But something is wrong here. We've been having unusual beings popping into our world, destroying the balance."

"You don't belong here but maybe you could help us get to the bottom of the problem and straighten it out?" Buffy smiled at Archie. Spike bristled.

"We'll help if you will help us figure a way to return with B and V"

"Done deal," said Buffy.

"I think it's time to head down into the cellar," said Buffy pushing Spike along.

"Wait," said Archie. "Where's Jughead?"

"I'm out here on the veranda. I smelled steak."

"Come on, Jughead. No time for eating. We'll stop at a burger place on the way back."

"Sorry," said Jughead walking back into the hallway. "Sometimes I get a little hungry and the smell of food obliterates everything else. So what's next?"

Xander broke in, "We're going down into the cellar to get away from the sun. Protecting Spike again. We're always protecting Spike 'cause Buffy says so."

"Little jealousy there, Xandy my boy?" asked Spike.

"All right, all right," said Buffy staring at Spike. "Enough's enough." She continued to look at Spike who had begun to unbutton his shirt. He whipped it off and threw it to the floor.

"Oooh, Spikey," murmured Buffy.

"Hey Spike, you been working out?"

"No."

"You been on vacation"?

"No."

"All right, what is it then?" asked Xander with frustration mounting. "You shave this morning? Color your hair?"

"Nope and nope."

"Well, something about you is different and it certainly does show up in your demeanor."

"Well, yes, Xandy. I do feel a little more self-confident these days."

"Yeah, ever since that chip on his shoulder was buried in his head he's been a different person."

"Nothing to do with it," said Spike.

"I'm the detective here," said Archie. "And I think I know what it is."

"Yeah? What would that be Red?"

"I'd say you've been to your doctor again and he's given you a prescription for Vampiagra. Looks like you doubled up your dose 'cause you're walking around with a permanent tent in your pants there."

"No, that's normal when he gets around Buffy. He always makes it more obvious by ripping his shirt off. Bloody show off." Xander turned around and started down the cellar stairs.

"Oooh, Spikey. Such large slabs of muscle bracing your chest. And those six-pack bulges just beneath your chiseled rib cage flaring in and out by the action of the thickly muscled ribs. And that. Oooh yeah, that. Is that why they call you Spike, Spikey?

Let me...."

"All right! Snap out of it!" yelled Xander. "Good grief, every time you two get together anymore it's always the same. Your eyes lock and your clothes start coming off. Well not this time. It's too important! So get a grip and follow me."

"Oh...All right." Buffy pouted while running her finger across the contours of Spike's upper body. "Put it away, Spike. We've got work to do."

Spike was flushed as if he had just supped on half a bod o' blood. "Uh, OK. Let me get myself together here."

Buffy had already gone halfway down the stairs when she turned her head to see Spike gathering his shirt around himself. 'Oh, Spikey,' she thought to herself.

The cellar was dark and smelled of newly dug earth. Xander reached for the switch to fill the room with light. It only clicked.

The cellar was dark and smelled of newly dug earth. Xander reached for the switch to fill the room with light. It only clicked.

The cellar was dark and smelled of newly dug earth. Xander reached for the switch to fill the room with light. It only clicked.

"What's happening here. It's déjà vu over and over."

A flame flashed to brilliance upon a wooden torch.

"Hello, everyone. I was just trying a new spell I learned on time travel. Not quite ready yet. I can only go back a few seconds. I'll have to keep working at it."

"Willow!" Everyone said it together, except Jughead who was munching on a wiener grilled the night before on the veranda.

"Yep, it's me. I knew something was going on when Vampirella came by my place asking about Spike." Buffy shot an angry glance at Spike who shrugged his shoulders with the "I'm innocent" look on his face.

"Vampirella? Another out of character character. We have to get to the bottom of this so our lives can get back to normal," said Archie. "I want my Betty back. No, I want my Veronica back. Now wait, I want Betty back. No Veronica..."

"Shut up, Arch. Jees, we've been going through this for over fifty years. Someday you're going to have to make a decision. Now let's get to solving this."

Archie came out of it and looked at Jughead. "You're right buddy. I'm sorry. I've given you cause for concern for a lot of years and you've always been by my side. You've never let me down. You're not a bad looking guy either..."

"Archie!! Not here."

"Oh. Yeah. All right then, what's next."

Everyone was staring at him.

"Come on, then," said Willow. "Follow me. I've discovered newly dug earth."

"So that's why it smells like that."

"Way to go, Sherlock."

"Yes?" It was a man in a tweed jacket and hunting cap on backwards. "You called me? Uh, where am I? How'd I get here? Must be that new stuff I bought. Bought it off one of my boys. Must have been cut with baking soda or something. What is this place? It smells like newly dug earth. And who are all of you? And who are you especially? Nice hair and I can see from your open shirt that you work out a lot..."

"His name is Spike and he's spoken for," said Buffy in a rush.

The stillness of the air lingered with its fresh aroma of newly dug earth. The new addition to the group continued to gaze at Spike who was becoming very uncomfortable. "What a glorious vision." mumbled the newcomer.

"Come on, then," said Willow heading into one of the newly dug tunnels. "We'll start down here. You're going to be shocked at what I've found."

As we join our intrepid friends they are making their way into a freshly dug tunnel. The darkness is dispelled by the torch Willow carries at the front of the line of young...

"Who the hell is that?"

"What?"

"You don't hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"That voice."

"What voice?"

"You know, the one that started off...'As we join our intrepid friends...' That one."

"You hearing things again, Spike? Must be that Vampiagra. Missed its target and started hardening your arteries in your brainpan."

"All right! I've had enough of your insults! Let's have it out right here, Xander!"

"Be quiet you two," whispered Willow. "We're almost there. I see the light at the end of the tunnel."

"Hey, that is a light and it's very bright. You were supposed to be leading me away from the sun."

"It isn't the sun," said Sherlock.

"And just how do you know that?" asked Spike.

"It's elementary, my dear Spike." A shiver ran up his spine as he looked into Spike's eyes. "You see these remains embedded in the wall? These layers in the wall of dirt represent different ages in our earth's evolution. These are the bones of a Spikasaurus Rex. It's all new to my people. We don't know much about these remains except they were mighty big bones from a long, long time ago. It's all a matter of science..."

"Oh shut up!" said Spike. "Where are you from anyway?"

"Her Majesty's green isle of England, Sir! Victoria's mighty Empire! And I will not have some pasty-faced bleached blonde dandy speak to me that way!"

"Pasty-faced?!" interrupted Buffy.

"All right, calm down and listen," said Willow. Xander bumped into her. He was looking at Spike and Sherlock glaring at each other.

"Oh, sorry, Willow," he said.

"Xander, you do care," said Willow. She went all weak-kneed staring at Xander.

"Cut it out, Willow. Where is that light coming from?" he asked changing the subject.

"I'm not sure. We'd better approach slowly."

"Hey, I hear music. Shhh. Listen." They strained forward with cocked ears.

"Can't make it out. Let's move closer."

They moved forward all bunched up. Spike shot a red-eyed glance at Sherlock. "Did you pinch my bum?"

"Heavens, no, dear boy. Not without an invitation." Buffy smiled and moved closer to the front.

"There. Look there. The light is coming from there. And that music sounds so familiar."

"Gad, that illumination is coming from that electric white suit! And that music....

AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAAAAH! STAYIN' ALIVE....STAYIN' ALIVE.....

"Gees..."

"No. Bee Gees..."

"The floor. Look. It’s tiled. Red and black and white. And the mist is being created by a fog machine behind the juke box. And that dance...straight from the '70's. What's going on?"

Spike stepped out into the opening and sauntered forward. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Angles."

"How many times do I have to get it across to you that it's Angel...AIN...JEL!"

"So what are you doing down here Angles? Thought you were in Hollywood. Something about a starring role in a new sitcom."

"Yeah, well, it didn't work out. They wanted to shoot only in the daytime. Got canned. Then I saw this movie Saturday Night Fever and thought I might sell them on the idea of Saturday Night Dead Fever. So I've been practicing."

"You stink buddy. You better give up the idea of Hollywood."

Buffy walked up to Angel. "You never wrote, you never called. Not one word in, how long?, four years. Why?"

"My career, baby. My name is gonna be in lights. I've made a deal and I'm gonna be famous. I'll have all the beautiful women I want. I won't have to struggle with a girl who continues to struggle with what is right and wrong. You loved a vampire, for goodness sake. What's wrong with you?"

"It was the cold touch of your hands. You could have used a hand warmer. Ole Spikey there has started on Vampiagra and his hands are warm. His flesh is warm to the touch and....just watch this." She walked over to Spike and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. Spike ripped off his shirt and threw it to the ground. His body flushed as if freshly fed.

"See that?!" Buffy said pointing at Spike's leather pants. "He wakes up with the first touch. You never did. It was like kissing a block of ice. You never warmed to my touch. But Spikey here not only warms to my touch, he's like a bleedin' volcano ready to blow his top."

"Yeah, Angles. Make like a 180 degree angle."

"You idiot. Everybody knows a 180 degree angle is simply a straight line."

"Yup, a straight line away from here."

Angel jumped in front of Spike with fists clinched. Spike took a stance in preparation.

At that very moment a bundle of light flitted from face to face leaving behind a trail of iridescent dust.

Angel and Spike relaxed their stances. The light popped from face to face then zipped away into the darkness.

"I think it was a fairy," said Willow.

"A fairy?" yelled Sherlock jumping up and down clapping his hands. "Doyle and I have been searching for fairies for a long time. Where'd it go. That must have been fairy dust left behind. Pick it up! Pick it up!"

Everyone stared at him. The silence was broken by Xander slapping his neck. "What the.."

His neck was bleeding from two tiny puncture wounds. "Owww! Damn! That hurts!"

"Shut up, you big baby," said Willow. "Lemme see."

She took the hand he'd slapped his neck with. There was a small dull light in his palm. Willow picked it up, placed it in her palm and held it close to Angel's suit.

"Look, it's a little voluptuous woman in a skimpy costume. She has blood dripping from her tiny fangs overlapping her bottom lip. Why she looks like... I think it is...It's Tinkerbelle."

"Peter Pan's Tinkerbelle?" asked Sherlock. "Gimme, I want fairy dust. I wanna fly!"

"Get back, twinkle toes. Let me see," said Xander. "If I remember right we all need to clap our hands and she'll come back to life. So everybody clap your hands if you believe in fairies."

"I know I do. I've been to Hollywood," said Angel.

They all began to clap their hands. Sherlock began to clap and jump into the air, shouting, "Just think happy thoughts. Just think happy thoughts!"

The barely visible light began to throb into a dim light then into a medium light and then faded back to barely visible.

"All right. Everybody reading this start clapping if you believe in fairies. She'll never pull through if you don't believe. Please clap. Everyone reading. Stop reading and clap with all your might."

They continued to clap, watching expectantly. The glow began to fade.

"You idiots!" The voice came from the shadows. He emerged into the light. His shadow stood beside him unattached. "This isn't the same world. Clapping isn't going to help. She needs blood. That dolt Xander slapped her while she was feeding. She needs to finish. Put her back on his neck. How much could she take for crying out loud? A thimble full. She could feed on him for months without any possibility of draining him. Now I'm not asking. I'm telling." He pulled a dagger from its sheath with an exaggerated metal-on-metal scrape and ring.

"OK! OK! No need to get your knickers in a knot," said Spike, sizing up this new rival. Buffy was inching toward him eying his outfit.

"I like a man in green tights," she said with smoldering eyes.

"I ain't a man, lady. Ain't you familiar with the Peter Pan concept. Men who don't want to grow up. You really have some issues don't you?"

Buffy sulked away.

"Tink, that's enough. The boys are waiting."

"Boys, you say? Can I come?" asked Sherlock.

"Uh, I don't think so. Tink, I said that's enough."

Xander fell to his knees and fainted.

"I thought you said she wouldn't take much? He's pasty white," said Willow.

"Oh, I didn't mention that there are side effects."

"Side effects? Like what?"

"Well, I'm not sure. They're different for each person. Individual after effects. Just have to wait and see. OK Tink." A tremendous sucking sound came from the small mouth as Tinkerbelle released the artery. A satisfied "AHHHHH" came from her ruby red lips.

"Thanks, Sucker," she said. "Oh, that's me isn't it." She laughed a shrill, high-pitched giggle. And she was gone. They looked for Pan but he was already gone. Only his shadow remained, which Willow grabbed. It struggled but she held on and stuffed it into her pocket.

"Good catch Willow," said Buffy. "Now let's see what this place is. There are openings in all directions. Where do we go first? Will someone please pull Sherlock off the ceiling and scrape that fairy dust off his shoulders." 

To be continued