|
The Book of Bilk
by Paul Edmund Norman
At the end of the 1950s, skiffle and then trad jazz were in vogue in the United Kingdom. Skiffle went on to graduate as rock and roll and pop music, but trad jazz eventually fizzled out altogether. But in the space of around five years, bands like the Temperance Seven, who had top ten hits with Pasadena and The Charleston, Kenny Ball, with Midnight in Moscow and I Love You Samantha, and Acker Bilk and his Paramount Jazz Band were all regular hit parade artists alongside Cliff Richard, Tommy Steele, Adam Faith, Billy Fury and the like. For me, Acker Bilk was always the best. I garnered my love of traditional jazz from old 78s owned by my father and his mates, and listened to people like Jelly Roll Morton, Louis Armstrong, Kid Oliver, Django Reinhardt and so on, to the exclusion of any other music. When Acker Bilk burst onto the scene with his jazz arrangements of famous American marches, like Marching Through Georgia, I was swept away by the brilliance of the musicianship - here at last was a band that could recapture the really great sounds of the early decades of the twentieth century. No one could produce a sound like Acker and his clarinet, and the original line up, which included Ron McKay on drums and Johnny Mortimer on trombone (he's a distant cousin of mine) was indeed paramount. It was when Acker and the band made the switch from the Pye jazz label to EMI and started recording at the Lansdowne Road studios that Peter Leslie, a popular hack novelist, started to get involved in writing sleeve notes and concert programme notes. I don't know whose idea it was to dress the band in smart striped waistcoats and bowler hats, but it was as inspired as Brian Epstein's transformation of the Beatles. Acker and the band set the pace - every other trad jazz band, with the exception of Chris Barber and Kenny Ball, followed suit, all dressing smartly and sporting smart names, such as Dick Charlesworth's City Gents. The sleeve notes were inspired:
"This done, and the Die Cast, the Redoubtable Westcountryman caused it to become known that his Choice had fallen upon the Exercise of his Prodigious Laryngeal Dexterity. He was decided to sing. Thus it befell that the Genial Bristol Blower commited to Memory the Words and Music of those Ditties he felt inclined to Carol, insert his Head and Shoulders within the Larger End of the Recording Horn and give his Best, what Time the Paramount Jazz Men achieved a Seemly Display of Virtuosity in his Aid. First commemorating in Stentorian Fashion the Attributes of that State endemic to his Music, the Egregious Mr. B. then passes to the Glottal Exploration of a Trio of Tunes as much Distinguished for their Originality of Approach as for their Catholicity of Source. Of these, "Higher Ground" and "Carry Me Back" are Negro Plantation Songs, while "Jump in The Line" was originally a "Calypso" from the Facile Noddle of Mr. "Blind" Blake - a Celebrated Minstrel who had worked the Caribbean Isles which produced this Strange Idiom."
A mix of Dickensian English, with capitalised nouns and names throughout, and temperance notices, they overflowed with interesting facts presented in a fascinating way. At last, sleeve notes were something to read, something to grab your attention. And then Leslie had the bizarre idea of coming up with a book about Acker Bilk's (fictional) ancestors. It took the sleeve note idea one step further and was (and is) a joy to read. I still have the original copy my sister bought for my Christmas present in 1961, and it still bears her inscription - it cost 12s 6d, which was a fortune in those days. But I had to have it, and the thrill of opening it that year, the year in which I would be fifteen years old, was indescribable. Books had that effect on me, and still do. What follows is the blurb from the back cover:
It can have escaped None but the meanest of
Intelligences that, in the World of Entertainment today, the onomatopaeic West
Country Name of Mr Acker Bilk has become emblazoned across the Pinnacle of
Achievement. With the gentlemanly Members of his jazz Ensemble, he has scaled
those glittering Heights whereon dwell the Giant Success, and his Handmaiden,
the Lady Fame. Indeed, so high a Place in the publick Esteem do Mr Bilk and his
Myrmidons hold, that not only their Performances upon the Concert Platform, but
also the very Trivia which make up their private Lives, become a Subject for
general Comment and Remark. Less well known - in fact so little known that they
are bruited about only in the innermost Circles of Mr Bilk's own close Acquaintance
- are the Details of our Hero's peerless Ancestry. Yet, from Ackermemnon to
Ackawatha, from King Ackered the Unsteady to John Osbilk, the Ackery Young Man,
his splendid Progenitors stride across the Pages of History to proclaim in
Letters of Fire his matchless Pedigree. It would seem, therefore, a Matter
almost of Publick Duty to place before the Enquiring so much of this deathless
Material as may fittingly be recalled, and to complement this, where possible,
with Reproductions of the Statues, Paintings, Reliefs, Engravings,
Daguerrotypes and even Photographs which commemorate these Men and Women. This,
the Authors, to the best of their Ability, have done; Mr Gwynn-Jones with his
photographic Apparatus, Mr Leslie with Notebook and Pencil, these Two have
journeyed to many distant Lands to garner the Seeds of Knowledge whose Fruits
this fascinating Volume reveals.
and here is part of the parody of Longfellow, 'Ackawatha', which is terrific fun:
By the Waters of Southampton,
By the muddy Solent Waters,
On the Paths the Fans had tramped on,
Paths the cheering Fans had tramped on,
Strode the Chieftain with the Daughters
Of the Man whose Land they camped on;
Strode the mighty Ackawatha.
'Lay aside your cloaks, O
Daughters!
'Lay aside your Mink Bikinis!
'Typists, Shopgirls, postal Sorters,
'Nurses, female Railway Porters,
'Lay aside your Cappucinis!
'Drink no more your mineral Waters!'
Thus aloud quoth Ackawatha
On the Road that led to
Beaulieu
To the Girls whose former Idols,
Things they thought they pined for treaulieu,
He was denigrating deaulieu.
In a Mood near-suicidal,
Girls whose Feelings were not bridal
Heard him counsel, heard him neaulieu
Speak in Accents Thucydidal:
'Now, O Sisters! Now
Decision!
'Now, for you, it's back to Nature!
'Lond black stockings and a mission;
'Stone-ground Bread and Nuclear Fission;
'Flat-heeled shoes; the Entablature
'Of a "We Disarm" Commission
'Daubed with "CND" - the Symbol!' (p.67)
It goes on for a while more, but you get the picture. Similarly the piece on Acker Wilde has attempts on Wildean epigrams: 'It is precisely because a man cannot play an Instrument that he is the proper Judge of Musicianship'; 'Anyone can be a commercial Star; it merely requires a complete Ignorance of Music, Musicianship and Stagecraft.'
The best gag in the whole book is John Osbilk, the author of Look Back In Acker and the original Ackery Young Man ('though why he was so ackery, and what he was so ackery about, nobody ever quite discovered'). Well worth searching for!
|
|
|
|
Gateway is published by Paul Edmund Norman on the first day of each month. Hosting is by Flying Porcupine at www.flyingporcupine.com - and web design by Gateway. Submitting to Gateway: Basically, all you need do is e-mail it along and I'll consider it - it can be any length, if it's very long I'll serialise it, if it's medium-length I'll put it in as a novella, if it's a short story or a feature article it will go in as it comes. Payment is zero, I'm afraid, as I don't make any money from Gateway, I do it all for fun! For Advertising rates in Gateway please contact me at paulenorman@yahoo.co.uk Should you be kind enough to want to send me books to review, please contact me by e-mail and I will gladly forward you my home address. Meanwhile, here's how to contact me: paulenorman@yahoo.co.uk