Part Four - Awakenings

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She woke up and thought for an instant that she was still wandering the plains of some beautiful dream.

Music that was composed from the depths of the soul teased her ears with their symphony and she was like a leaf drifting upon the breeze, moving to its currents, a slave, though happily, to its will. Arwen opened her eyes and realised why it was she felt so at peace. The place around her allowed for nothing else and its beauty unlocked her heart in the way nothing had since she had left her beloved Estel and embarked upon this important quest. In her lungs, she discovered upon her first breath awake, was the scent of the Wood, heady and sweet. It reminded her of childhood, of running through glens covered with mallos, of becoming lost in a sea of the golden colored flowers. She used to believe that the sun had bled onto the earth whenever she saw them. Yet as she sat up in her comfortable bed, she knew that she was not in a dream but a place that might have been carved out of one.

Lothlorien.

They had arrived in the realm of Galadriel in the small hours of the night, exhausted and weary of their journey from Minas Tirith. Eowyn had been taken away almost as soon as they had arrived, the Shield Maiden of Rohan protesting vehemently that she did not need aid even though the poison of the spiders she had battled and killed was almost certainly in her veins from her wound. In the end, Arwen convinced her to go to the House of Healing, to rest and be well so that they may begin again their journey towards Lindon. Galadriel was still at Minas Tirith but the Lord of Lothlorien and Arwen's grand sire, Celeborn was present.

She woke up to find him seated next to her bed, watching her as if he had done so for a long while. While Galadriel was more concerned over matters beyond Lothlorien, Celeborn’s interest were mostly focused inward, upon the realm he governed and those who were a part of it. She was certain that he knew each one of the elves inhabiting the wood as more than just their Lord but as their friend. When she was a child visiting, she was always a little in awe of her grandmother but Celeborn had always seemed more approachable and she recalled going on many trips with him through the wood as he taught her all he knew. She loved him almost as much as she did Estel and her father.

"Have you been there all night?" She asked reproachfully when she noticed.

"No," he smiled warmly, pleased to see that she was well. He had watched her for some hours now, wondering where that delightful child that had spend so many summers with him had disappeared. Even though she had grown into the fairest elf maiden in Middle Earth, Celeborn would always see her as that little girl who delighted him so. "Merely a few hours."

"You did not come to the celebration," Arwen accused with a hint of disappointment.

"I did not wish to," Celeborn volunteered and Arwen saw a flicker of something in his eyes.

"Is there something wrong?" She asked anxiously as she started to rise from her bed.

"You are able to answer that better than I," he replied staring at her.

Arwen looked away, realizing that he knew the reason she was here. "You know then?"

"That there is an Enemy with designs on your child, my great grandson? Yes, I know," Celeborn answered and there was bitterness in his voice as well as anger.

"I have to stop it," she swallowed thickly. "I cannot allow this to happen to my child or to the people of Middle Earth if he is born with Melkor’s spirit."

"I know," he reached for her and placed his hand on her cheek. "I did not come because I was angry with your grandmother. I thought you should have been told about the Enemy before this."

"She had no choice in the matter," Arwen argued. "I know she did not endanger my life on purpose."

"She did not," Celeborn softened a little, having no wish for Arwen to believe that of Galadriel. "I knew her purpose was to set you on your present course and as much as I know you will conquer what awaits you, you are my granddaughter and I fear for you. I would have preferred if you had embarked upon this with Aragorn at your side."

"But he could be endangered," Arwen pointed out. As much as she loved Celeborn for thinking so much about her, she wanted Aragorn to have no part of her quest, if his life could be lost as a result.

"So could you," Celeborn returned. "You have chosen a mortal life and that means you could die too. I would not have forced you into such a choice."

"Are you angry with Galadriel for setting me upon this quest?" She looked at him with dismay. She had no wish to be the rift that came between the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien.

"Not angry," he lied to her because he knew it would cause her distress if he told her the truth. "Disappointed."

"Please," she placed her hand on his shoulder. "I made my own choice. Do not be angry with her because of me."

"It is not just this one thing Arwen," Celeborn confessed, glad that she was here so that he could talk about it openly. Being the Lord of Lothlorien required that he keep much of his true feelings to himself. "Galadriel wishes to leave Lothlorien for the Undying Lands. I am not ready to depart."

"Yes," Arwen replied, nodding slowly. She knew all too well what he spoke of. Many of the elves were now speaking of leaving for the West, her father too. Because of her choice to live a mortal life with Estel, she would not be making that journey. While she regretted nothing in the choosing of this decision because she loved Estel, she could not help feeling a terrible sadness when she thought on the time she would the last elf on these shores. Even Legolas would go some day, though Arwen suspected it would not be until all the mortals he cherished so much were gone into the afterlife.

When her father had come to Minas Tirith, she suspected he had done so because he knew it might be the last time he would ever see her. For all her delirium about his being a grandfather, she knew he was already preparing to leave Rivendell permanently and would probably never see her son. When they had met each other in the palace, she could see the weariness in his eyes from the preparation and also the sadness beneath the joy he felt for her. She knew that if it were not so, he would merely have sent good tidings with her brothers Elladan and Elrohir. Yet he had come himself and Arwen knew it was not merely to share the celebration with her but it was also his way of saying goodbye.

It would be this way with Galadriel and Celeborn too. No matter how much she loathed to think of it, Arwen had come to the conclusion that it was inevitable.

"I enjoy this world," he gazed out the window at the beauty of Lothlorien and she could see real love glistening in his eyes for not just the wood but what lay beyond. "I enjoy travelling to Rivendell and Mirkwood, I would even like to see Minas Tirith one day but I am not ready for the Undying Lands. Not yet."

"You plan to remain if Galadriel leaves?" Arwen asked somewhat surprised. It was not unheard of, of course. When her mother had been hurt, Celebrian had sailed to the Undying Lands, waiting the day when her father would join her on the Western Shore.

"I think so," Celeborn nodded and then met her eyes. "I have not told her yet."

Arwen drew a deep breath and wondered how Galadriel would take that news. Arwen was unable to imagine the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien apart. They had always been two halves of the same entity. Yet, she knew that hearts could change and though she did not like to be aware of it, Celeborn was angry at his wife and with elves, such anger could last the duration of some men’s lifetimes. As much as the thought of him remaining in Middle Earth pleasured her, Arwen knew that it was a selfish desire and felt that she ought to say something to ensure that this course he chosen was for the right reasons and not merely out of anger.

"Are you certain of this grandfather?" She asked, using a more personal title. "I know that you are angered over Galadriel’s conduct in this but I do not blame her and you may take comfort that I believe what she has done is right. I love you dearly for your concern but if your anger is for my welfare, you need not trouble yourself."

"I am certain of much more than my anger," Celeborn smiled warmly, mindful of what she was attempting to do and loving her all the for it. "I have thought upon this deeply since her departure to the White City and I know that though separation will be hard, for we have been husband and wife for so long, I think it will in the end do us both good."

Arwen nodded somberly, realizing that she could not sway him from his decision and upon further thought, decided that she should not. It was his choice to make. She could not deny that she was happy that he would not disappear from her life as the others would soon do but she was also sad that Galadriel would travel to the Western Shore alone.

"How is Eowyn?" Arwen asked after a lengthy pause in an effort to put the subject behind them.

"She is well," Celeborn replied, having asked to be appraised regarding the Lady of Ithilien’s condition for he knew Arwen would want to know how she fared. "She is exceedingly stubborn. I thought Aragorn was difficult to treat, I daresay she is almost as adverse to the belief of her injury."

"Warriors often are," Arwen smiled, picturing in her mind’s eyes the consternation Eowyn would have probably caused amongst the elven physicians in the House of Healing. "She is a good friend and has already saved my life once on this quest."

"I do not doubt that," Celeborn responded. "She believes she is ready to travel."

"Is she?" Arwen raised a brow at that because Eowyn’s determination to be of aide to her overrode the Shield Maiden’s good sense at times.

"Her wound is healing and I do not believe we can keep her here. She has been treated and though the healers would prefer her to rest, I also think they would be happy to be rid of her and the aggravation."

Arwen chuckled and let out a heavy breath, "I shall speak to her myself and if she is as ready as she claims then I would impose upon you grandfather for some horses."

"You will be continuing your journey?" Celeborn asked, feeling a little disappointed that she could not stay for another night but understood the urgency of her mission and her desire to continue as soon as possible.

"Yes," she answered thinking already on the route they would take upon leaving Lothlorien. "I cannot afford to delay my progress to the north. If Eowyn is well enough to travel, we will make for Rivendell."

"You are going to climb the Misty Mountains?" He looked at her skeptically. "In your condition?"

"I think I should be able to manage. We elves have far better agility over the snow than the race of men. I should be able to traverse it in a day or so."

She noticed a frown on Celeborn’s face as she mentioned the mountains, which immediately gave her cause for concern. "You seemed worried," she remarked.

"We have heard news from the mountains," Celeborn confessed after a minute of hesitation of trying to decide whether or not his fears were unfounded and motivated by his desire for her to remain in the Wood or was there really something to fear in the Misty Mountains.

"What sort of news?" She stared at him.

"News that some of the travelers crossing the mountains are not always seen again," he admitted reluctantly.

"What has befallen them?" Arwen asked anxiously, not wishing to deter from her chosen course but not wishing to rush headlong into danger either. After what they had seen at Cadras Nar, it was obvious that there was still enough darkness in Middle Earth to warrant caution.

"We are not certain, those sent to find them never return either," Celeborn replied.

"But some have crossed safely?" She questioned, not wishing to be frightened off on so little information.

"Some have," Celeborn replied. "But do you really want to risk the danger?"

"I am already in danger," Arwen sighed. "And I grow more so the longer I am kept from completing my quest. I must at least try to cross the mountains before I abandon the idea."

Celeborn nodded, conceding that he would not be able to convince her otherwise. She was like her father, strong willed and determined. He had to trust that she would find a way.

"The Lord of Lothlorien is at your service Evenstar," he said finally. "Whatever you need, we will provide it if we are able."

"Thank you," Arwen embraced him warmly, grateful that he was here and would be for some time to come.