"WE'VE got to get it back," yelped Archie. "Come on."
We hurried to the window of the Head's study, which was open. We knew the Head hadn't arrived yet - - but time was short if we wanted to creep in and grab the book.
Then, as we peeped through the window our hearts dropped.
There on the desk lay the fatal book. But we couldn't get it, because the Head's secretary was sitting at the desk, typing.
"We're sunk!" Archie whispered. "We daren't risk grabbing the book now, and -- "
"Look out!" I breathed. "The study door's opening. It's the Head!"
Breathlessly we dodged back to the quad.
Before we could decide anything, the bell rang for assembly. Neither Archie nor I could think of anything except that book; and we were on tenterhooks, wondering what was happening in the Head's study. Every moment we expected to hear a wild yell, and then see the Head rush into the hall, his face covered with soot.
Archie's hair didn't turn white, but it wouldn't have surprised me if it had. And then -- into the hall came the Head, looking grim. Not only did he look grim, but he carried that book under his arm.
"He hasn't undone the tape," I breathed.
The Head strode onto his rostrum. He called for silence, and then held up the book for the assembled school to see.
"The boy who put this on my desk will step forward," he said.
No one moved. The prefect, Morley, who had given the Head the book was outside trapping late boys!
"Very well; the whole school will bne detained after lessons this afternoon until the culprit confesses. I have been made the victim of a scandalous and stupid April the First joke," he thundered.
Some fags tittered, and the Head commanded prefects to take their names, saying that every boy who laughed would be a suspect.
"By the absurd typewritten inscription on this book," ground out the Head, "I was forewarned of the joke, being aware what day of the year it is, and knowing that we have amongst us some unfortunate boys with infantile minds."
The Head held up the book.
"I will now cut the string," he said.
Archie gave a yelp.
"Sir! No!" he cried, making every head turn.
The hush was broken. Murmurs, mutters, subdued chuckles. Every eye was on Archie, and I groaned for him. But he had done the only thing possible. He couldn't let the Head, in front of the whole school, open that book and cover himself with soot.
"Wiles, step forward," commanded the Head in his most awful tone, and he picked up a cane and flapped it noisily against his leg.
Archie tottered to the front, gulping.
"Sir -- honestly, I didn't mean it for you," faltered Archie. "I left it on a hedge. I -- I meant someone else to find it; but someone must have thought it was yours and -- sent it here."
"Indeed? A very lame story! May I ask why you did not want me to open the book, Wiles?" rumbled the Head.
"I didn't want you to be covered with su-soot, sir. It -- it's a booby trap," said Archie miserably.
The Head's eyes glinted, and he silenced the gusts of laughter with a furious swish of the cane.
"Wiles! Come here! Stand on this platform. Now, boys," he added with a grim smile, "here is your April Fool's entertainment. Wiles -- open that book!"
Archie gave a feeble, sickly grin, and tugged the tape off. No actor had ever had such an intent audience. But -- anti-climax! Nothing happened. Then, as if to give fair measure, he closed his eyes and opened the cover. Still nothing happened. The tension was terrific, and the Head, snatching the book, looked at it.
He gave an astonished cry.
"This is my book! Johnson's History of England. I lent it to Jenkins. This is no booby trap," he snapped. "You, Wiles, are the one fooled, apparently. You thought it was your own booby trap. Ha, ha, ha!"
"Ha, ha, ha!" we all roared, delighted at the chance, and Archie gave a feeble titter of relief, too.
"Stand down, Wiles. I think you have been made an April Fool. But it is to your credit," said the Head, " that you tried to prevent me being -- as you thought, sooted."
Amidst gusts of laughter Archie rejoined me; and then Morley, who had not been in the hall previously, suddenly stepped forward and said that that was the book a girl had asked him to give to the Head.
Sue! Her revenge on Archie! I saw it all. She had sent a book -- but not the right one, having guessed it was a trap; and of course, it was nothing Archie could be blamed for, so no harm had been done.
However, the Head obtained order, and we were just on the point of starting routine, when in came the science master, a pretty sour type, late as usual.
"Oh -- er -- Head," he murmured. "I was asked to give you this book.
A hush fell.
Everyone looked at the brown-paper-covered book tied with red tape, and Archie's eyes bulged.
"Indeed?" said the Head. "I think there is a mistake, Mr. Thatcher. What book is it?"
Thatcher muttered something and tore off the tape.
Instantly the cover flew open and a cloud of soot flew into his face and a gaudy golliwog bounced before his eyes. Never in my life before had I heard such riotous mirth, such howls of delighted laughter; for old Thatcher is the most unpopular master in the school.
"Is this funny?" howled Thatcher. "Gah -- ugug! A woman, a middle-aged woman, gave me this! Has the world gone crazy?"
"April Fool!" shouted junior voices in glee.
The Head waved both arms, half-suffocated with suppressed mirth; for he had a grand sense of humour sometimes.
"Dismiss. Dismiss. Prefects, punish any boy who laughs or who is disorderly. Dismiss!"
* * * * * * * * *
It was my Aunt Jane who had given Mr. Thatcher the book; she had found it on the hedge where Archie had left it. Sue, Planning to be avenged, thought of the Head's book, which I had lent her (it had been given to me as a holiday task, and she had borrowed it for some swotting), and used it as a substitute.
But aunt's finding the real one and passing it on was bad luck.
"Well, thank goodness you have a sense of humour, Archie, and enjoyed the joke," Sue said merrily when we met at dinner-time.
"Oh, he did," I said loyally.
Archie gritted his teeth and gave a wooden grin.
"Terribly funny, yes," he said.
"I thought you'd like it," said Sue.
Then we told her about Mr. Thatcher. She giggled tremendously until we suddenly saw Thatcher's car pull up. Perhaps that part isn't quite so funny, so I'll sjip it. However, aunt wasn't to blame, and the whole thing had been mischance; but it seemed that aunt telephoned Archie's father, and he explained very firmly to Archie that soot booby traps are stupid, ill-mannered, crude -- and so on. But he was in one of his humourous moods, Archie said, and took the sting out by adding a final word: "Most unsootable!"
