November had arrived, and the Quidditch season had started. The first match would see Slytherin playing against Hufflepuff. Harry, who had been held up because Professor Binns had wanted to see him about an essay, found himself running as fast as he could to get to the match on time.
He was passing the Charms classroom when he heard the words.
" - Sirius Black - "
Harry screeched to a stop. Had he heard wrongly? He tiptoed quietly back to the door of the Charms classroom.
"- wants to see us in Hogsmeade, I don't know why there's all this secrecy."
"But we'll miss the Quidditch match!"
Professors Flitwick and McGonagall were inside the classroom, talking. Harry looked quickly down the corridor, but there was no one to see him eavesdropping. He moved closer to listen.
"Fudge says there's something important about Black that he wants to discuss with us," Professor McGonagall was saying. "It has something to do with capturing him, I believe. He purposely chose today because everyone else will be at the match."
"Who else is going?" asked Flitwick.
"Only Albus," replied Professor McGonagall. "He didn't want too many teachers absent from the match, or people will notice."
"Where are we meeting?" asked Flitwick.
"The Three Broomsticks, at one o'clock," she replied.
Harry could hear them walking toward the door, and hastily tiptoed to the next classroom, which fortunately was empty. He waited until their footsteps had died away, then slowly started walking back toward the Gryffindor common room, thinking.
They were having a meeting to discuss Sirius Black! What could it be about? Was Sirius in danger of being captured? Should Harry not try to find out, and warn him?
Harry made up his mind. Much as he hated to, he'd have to miss the Quidditch. There was no knowing how long the match would take, and it would look very odd if he left halfway.
The common room was deserted - everyone had gone to the match. Harry went up to the bedroom and took the Invisibility Cloak out of his trunk. Feeling inside his robes for his wand, he went to the level where the hump-backed witch was.
"Dissendium," he muttered, tapping with his wand. Then he slipped inside the secret passageway, and made his way toward Hogsmeade.
He put on the Cloak when he reached Honeydukes, and then wandered around aimlessly for a while. It was too early to go to the Three Broomsticks - there was at least another hour to go. He found himself wandering near the Shrieking Shack, and sat down under a tree.
Harry found himself waking up with a start. It was starting to rain. Cursing himself for falling asleep, he saw to his horror, that it was almost four. How could he have slept so long?
The rain was becoming heavier. Still under his Invisibility Cloak, Harry ran to the first shop with an open door that he could find - a jewellery and antique shop - but he had hardly entered it when he stopped short in surprise.
Professor Lupin was at the counter, talking to the shopkeeper.
" - haven't seen you for a long time, Remus, how about a cup of tea, she'll be taking some time to look around anyway, the ladies always do," the shopkeeper was saying.
"Not this lady," said Lupin, turning around and looking with an amused smile into the interior of the shop. "I haven't been able to get her to buy anything, all day."
Harry's eyes followed Lupin's gaze, and he started in surprise. A dark-haired lady was inside the shop, looking around. She looked like Jeanne.
The wind blew in great gusts, and some rain pattered in at the door.
"Excuse me a moment," said the shopkeeper, and to Harry's chagrin, walked over to the door and shut it, the doorchimes sounding in protest. How was he to get out now?
The rain was pouring down in torrents. Holding the Cloak firmly over his head, Harry retreated into a corner of the shop, hoping the rain would lighten up soon and that the shopkeeper would open the door again. He watched Jeanne with some interest. What were she and Lupin doing here?
She was wandering from counter to counter, looking at the bracelets and rings in a rather bored manner. However, her expression became more interested when she came over to the section where Harry was. She stopped to examine a tea set.
Harry looked around. There was a sign near him saying, "Starlight Section". He peered at some of the ornaments in the glass case next to him. They had a faint glimmer to them, like starshine. It reminded him of the frame of the mirror in the cave at Deorg's fortress.
Jeanne had finished examining the tea set. She came over to where Harry was, and he squeezed himself as far into the corner as he could, hoping she wouldn't bump into him.
She looked around in a rather idle fashion, then seemed about to leave, but then something caught her eye. Her eyes widened, and reaching out, she took down a small pendant from the counter just next to Harry.
Harry crept slightly closer and peered curiously at the pendant. It was silver in colour, and sparkled with the same starry quality as the other items in that section. He looked closer. There was something carved on the surface of the pendant, but he couldn't make out what it was.
Harry could see that Jeanne liked the pendant. There was a softness in her eyes, and the colour in her cheeks had risen slightly. She turned it around in her hands, as if looking for the price tag, but there was none.
She checked the price tags on some of the other pendants, then shook her head. With a small sigh, she took up the first pendant again and just stood there, admiring it.
A movement caught Harry's eye. Professor Lupin had come up from behind. A strange expression came over his face when he saw the pendant.
"Do you like it?" he asked.
Jeanne jumped.
"Oh!" she said, " I didn't know you were there."
"Sorry," he said, smiling.
She put the pendant back in its place.
"Aren't you going to get it?" Lupin asked, surprised. "You haven't bought a thing, all afternoon."
Her face reddened.
"Oh - I know you must think I'm really boring," she said, flushing, "but I don't really need anything. Since I got away from Deorg and came to Hogwarts, I've got everything I want."
"You like that, though," said Lupin, smiling at her, and nodding at the pendant.
She turned to look at it.
"I do like it," she admitted. "But - " she seemed to be looking for an excuse, "- I'll wait till next month. Dumbledore hasn't given me this month's salary, yet."
"Oh, that's all right," said Lupin cheerfully, reaching into his pocket. "I'll get it for you."
"Oh, no!" she cried, looking alarmed. "I didn't mean that! Please don't."
She looked at him with a rather peculiar expression on her face.
"It's - it's not the right time for me to get it, yet," she said, stammering slightly.
Lupin looked puzzled.
"Right now everything's still new and exciting for me," she explained hurriedly. Harry had the impression she was saying the first thing that popped into her head. "I'm still enjoying being at Hogwarts, and my gamekeeping work, and helping Hagrid with his classes - it's all still interesting to me."
She looked earnestly at Lupin.
"I think - I'd like to save getting the pendant for - for later, when some of the novelty has worn off, and I want to treat myself to something new."
"But the pendant might not be here, any more," objected Lupin. "Someone else might buy it."
"If I'm meant to have it, it'll still be here," she said decidedly. "That's what I always say when I can't decide whether to buy something. Oh, look - the rain's stopped. We ought to go."
She seemed to be in a hurry to get him out of the shop. Before Harry could move, they had left, the doorchimes sounding as the door swung shut. He was thinking of creeping to the door, and slipping out when the next customer came in, but now the shopkeeper had come over to the corner where he was, and was blocking his way.
Harry looked at him curiously. He seemed very old, with a hawk-like face framed by snow-white hair. His eyes were blue and very penetrating, but they looked kindly enough. He was examining the pendant that Jeanne had just put back, turning it around in his hands and looking thoughtful.
The door-chimes rang again. Professor Lupin had come back alone.
The shopkeeper turned around and smiled at Lupin.
"I know why you're back," he said, holding the pendant up with both hands.
"How much is it?" asked Lupin warily, his hand fingering his pocket.
The shopkeeper was still smiling.
"For you, Remus, and if it's for her, why, it'll cost you nothing."
Lupin flushed slightly.
"Mr Grenivere - " he began, but the shopkeeper held up a hand.
"This pendant was never for sale, Remus," he said. "It has been sitting here in my shop for years, waiting for you to come and get it."
Lupin looked dumbfounded.
"What do you mean?" he asked slowly.
The shopkeeper was taking a small box out from a nearby cupboard.
"Exactly what I say," he said, placing the pendant inside the box, "this pendant was one of several items given into my keeping, almost thirteen years ago, so that I could hand it over to you, today."
Lupin looked at him in disbelief.
"Thirteen years ago? Given into your keeping? But - who - ?"
Mr Grenivere had pressed the box into Lupin's hand, and was now steering him toward the door. Harry, seeing this was his chance, followed close behind.
"Who gave it to me, Remus?" said Grenivere, looking at Lupin with his piercing blue eyes, and smiling, "but who else knew how to craft items of this type of quality? Your grandfather, of course."
And smiling at Lupin's astonishment, Grenivere gently pushed him out the door, and shut it.
Harry had just managed to squeeze out in time. He hesitated, wondering where to go. He knew he ought to go to the Three Broomsticks, but the meeting was probably over by now. Besides, he was curious to see Jeanne's reaction when Lupin gave her the pendant.
Lupin stood outside the shop for a moment, still looking at the box in his hand. Then he tucked it inside his robes and started down the street, Harry following close behind.
He followed Lupin into a shop over which hung a sign saying"Wanda's Witches' Wardrobe". Lupin paused on entering, Harry nearly bumping into him. Looking around the store, Harry saw rows and rows of robes in all colours, seemingly stretching to the horizon. The shop was almost empty, except for a customer in the middle of the room, trying on some blue robes, helped by a fat little witch - possibly Wanda herself - and a tall, thin witch in another corner, rummaging through a box of woollens. There was no sign of Jeanne.
Lupin wandered around a bit, frowning, then since Jeanne obviously wasn't around, he turned to speak to the blue-clad lady, who had been standing there for some time, smiling and watching him.
"Excuse me, have you seen - " he began, and then stopped short, looking thunderstruck.
Jeanne was wearing the blue robes. She looked at Lupin's face, and then burst out laughing. Harry was amazed; he could hardly recognise her.
The robes were deep blue, like the colour of the sky when evening was coming on. Simple in style, they were of long, flowing satin, and they became her very well. She had tied her hair back in a ponytail.
Lupin was looking at her in amazement.
"I wouldn't have known it was you," he said, shaking his head, and smiling in disbelief.
She was still laughing, but controlled herself after a while.
"Dear, dear, how am I behaving," she said, wiping a tear away, and still shaking slightly with mirth. She looked down at the robes. "I guess I'd better return this, now."
"What, aren't you going to get it?" asked Lupin.
"Oh no, I've bought enough for today," she said brightly, for the benefit of the fat little saleswitch. She walked through a doorframe labelled "fitting frame", going in on one side wearing the robes, and coming out on the other side in her own clothes. The blue robes, meanwhile, had mysteriously materialised on a nearby stand.
"And besides," she added in a low voice, as they started toward the entrance of the shop, "what on earth would I do with such a thing? I don't go out to balls, I don't -"
What else she didn't do Harry never knew, because at that moment a piercing scream rang out in his ears. It was the fat little saleswitch; she had walked right into Harry from the back.
Harry stumbled away, and the Cloak became caught on a nearby rack. It came clean off, and he was left standing there, looking extremely guilty, with Jeanne and Lupin looking at him in amazement.
"Harry! What are you doing here!" cried Jeanne, half-surprised, half-delighted.
Harry, however, didn't dare look at Professor Lupin. He extricated his Cloak from the rack and stuffed it inside his robes, and then stood there, staring at the floor, feeling extremely foolish.
They came over to him. Harry, slowly lifting his eyes, saw that Lupin was looking stern.
"Explain yourself, Harry," he said.
There was no help for it.
"The Minister of Magic was supposed to be holding a meeting in the Three Broomsticks," he mumbled, staring at the floor, "to discuss capturing Sirius Black. I overheard Professors McGonagall and Flitwick talking about it."
"And so, you decided to come along and do a little eavesdropping," said Lupin evenly.
Harry nodded glumly, still looking at the floor.
"But I got here early and fell asleep at the Shrieking Shack," he said dismally. "I woke up when it started to rain, and then ran here for shelter."
"I see," said Lupin drily.
Harry cautiously looked up. Jeanne was looking sympathetic, but Lupin was looking seriously at him.
"Well, you know the rules, Harry," Lupin said, "I am afraid I will have to take fifty points from Gryffindor."
Harry nodded. He knew he was getting off lightly; if it had been Snape, he would have tried to get Harry expelled.
"And now, I think you'd better follow us back to Hogwarts, where we can keep an eye on you," said Lupin firmly.
Jeanne gave his shoulder a sympathetic squeeze and said, "Come on, Harry."
Unfortunately, they had barely stepped out of the shop when who should they meet, but Professors Flitwick and McGonagall. Harry's heart sank.
"Potter!" said Professor McGonagall sharply, "what are you doing here?"
"Harry's with me, Professor," said Jeanne quickly. "I asked him to show me around Hogsmeade - it's my first time here, you see… I didn't know it was against school rules…I thought today was a free day…because of the Quidditch…."
"And I presume he didn't bother to enlighten you," remarked Professor McGonagall drily. "Well, Potter, you will have to be punished."
"It's all right, Minerva," said Lupin, "I've already taken fifty points from Gryffindor."
"But how come you're here, Remus!" chirped Professor Flitwick. "Didn't you stay for the Quidditch?"
"I had some business in Hogsmeade that wouldn't wait," said Lupin blandly.
Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow.
"Oh?" she said, looking up at the signboard of the shop they had just come out of, "inside Wanda's Witches' Wardrobe? How curious - "
"Professor Lupin was just passing by when he saw us inside," explained Jeanne hurriedly. "He came in to find out why Harry was here."
Lupin turned his head away, as if to see who was coming down the street. Harry felt sure he was smiling.
"Well, we're just on our way to the Three Broomsticks for a drink," piped up Professor Flitwick. "Why don't you join us?"
"Yes, and then you're coming back with me, Potter," said Professor McGonagall grimly. "No more outings for you."
They started off down the street.
"One also wonders what the both of you are doing in Hogsmeade," said Lupin, casually.
Professor McGonagall made an exasperated noise.
"We just spent two and a half useless hours with Cornelius Fudge, trying to decide which, out of twelve different sightings of black-haired, bearded men, was Sirius Black!"
"Oh?" said Lupin, looking surprised.
Professor McGonagall seemed to be relieving some pent-up feelings.
"I never knew a greater waste of time! Fudge has to produce a report, showing he has made some progress on this case…but the fact is, absolutely no progress has been made! He thinks that by having Dumbledore's name in the report…"
"Oh Minerva, I'm sure he's trying his best," chirped Flitwick. "It's a difficult case…"
"We can't even return to the school yet, because there's a debrief in half an hour's time," continued Professor McGonagall angrily, ignoring him. "Fudge has gone with Albus to meet some Secretary or other, who's just received new information…"
But Harry was no longer listening. So he had missed the Quidditch match for nothing, and lost fifty points for Gryffindor into the bargain. He felt very depressed.
They found a group of Ministry officials already inside the Three Broomsticks, who insisted Lupin, Jeanne and Harry join them. Lupin ordered butterbeer for the three of them. Jeanne, who hadn't tried it before, looked delighted after the first taste.
The officials started talking about Sirius Black.
" - Sure it's the one in Eastbourne," said a tall, thin official with heavily lidded eyes. "Bloody murder there…three people hacked to death - just the sort of thing Black would do."
Harry felt the anger rise in him, but Lupin gave him a warning look.
"But what about the killings in Scotland?" said a pasty-faced official. "Explosion. Typical of what Black did all those years ago. The man's a monster, a killing machine…the kind whose soul feeds off this kind of thing."
Lupin looked like he was about to say something, but Jeanne spoke first.
"Actually, I don't think Sirius Black is guilty," she said.
There was a dead silence. Even Lupin looked surprised.
Lidded Eyes looked at her.
"My dear, what did you say?" he asked in a horrified tone.
Jeanne looked rather tense at having so many eyes fixed on her, but she stubbornly held her ground.
"I said, I think Sirius Black is innocent."
Pasty Face gave a short, horrified bark of laughter.
"Perhaps you'd like to clarify that," he said.
Jeanne shifted uneasily.
"Black managed to escape Azkaban," she said. "I don't believe he could have done it if he were guilty. Only an innocent man could have kept his mind there, after all those years."
"He used the Dark Arts to escape!" said Pasty Face vehemently.
"I remember seeing Black's picture, years ago, when he was imprisoned," she added. "He didn't look like a murderer to me. His eyes - "
"My dear young lady," said Lidded Eyes in a patronizing tone, "you are young, innocent and inexperienced. We should excuse her," - glancing around at the others, then turning back to Jeanne.
"I think you must have led a sheltered life, my lady," said Lidded Eyes, still in his patronizing tone. "You obviously have not seen the real world we live in. What do you know of suffering? What do you know of death, or killing?"
His voice hardened.
"Have you seen someone being butchered before?" he said harshly. "Have you seen bodies ripped apart, mercilessly, blood spewing out onto the ground, faces frozen in the grotesque agony of death? Have you heard people screaming for mercy, crying out when their life is ripped away in one senseless action?"
He paused, his eyes narrowing.
"You have not seen all this," he said softly. "You do not know what a killer looks like, what people are capable of doing."
Jeanne sat very still, her face pale, eyes wide in horror. She seemed unable to tear her eyes away from the official's face. Her hands were clenching her tankard very tightly. To Harry's alarm, bloodstains were beginning to appear on them.
Lupin noticed it too.
"Jeanne…" he said very softly, "Don't…"
She looked at Lupin, her eyes wide, then with an effort, controlled herself.
"Of - of course, you're right," she stammered to Lidded Eyes, trying to smile, "I'm just a foolish girl, speaking my mind. I should know better, of course."
Pasty Face gave a patronizing smile, and Lidded Eyes said suavely, "that's quite all right, my dear."
Jeanne lowered her eyes to her hands, where the bloodstains were fading away.
"After all," she murmured very softly, so that Harry could hardly hear her, "who am I, to judge a murderer?"
The conversation turned to other topics after that, but Harry wasn't listening. He and Lupin were looking at Jeanne rather worriedly. She seemed very subdued, finishing her drink as fast as she could, then staring at her empty tankard, obviously trying to think of an excuse to leave.
Fortunately, at this point Cornelius Fudge came in, together with Dumbledore. Lupin, on seeing them, immediately rose, saying, "I believe we must make a move…"
"Potter! You're staying here with me!" said Professor McGonagall sharply, as Harry hopefully got up. "I want to keep an eye on you!"
Harry dismally sank down in his seat again. Lupin gave Harry an encouraging nod as he went out, but Jeanne left without a look or a word.
Fudge didn't look too happy when he saw Harry there.
"Er…Minerva, some of the matters we will be discussing may be quite confidential," he said meaningfully to Professor McGonagall.
"Very well," she said crisply. "Potter, wait just outside for me. I believe this won't take more than ten minutes, Cornelius?"
Fudge shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
"Actually, it may take a little longer than that," he said vaguely, shuffling his papers. "We have some new information…"
Professor McGonagall gave an exasperated sigh.
"All right, Potter," she said, turning to Harry, "if you run fast enough, you can catch up with Professor Lupin - "
Harry was already out of his seat and heading for the door.
"Make sure you're with them -" he could hear Professor McGonagall shouting after him, "- if I find out you've been up to any more mischief, it'll be double detention for you - "
Harry sped down the street toward the road leading back to Hogwarts. The rain had cleared, but gusty winds were still blowing. There was a magnificent sunset in the western sky.
Harry jogged along, looking for Lupin and Jeanne, the sound of the wind in his ears. He found them at the crest of a hill, where they had apparently turned aside from the road for a while to look at the sunset. He was almost going to rush up to join them, when he stopped short.
Jeanne's back was facing him, but he could see Lupin's face, and he knew something was wrong. He thought he would retreat a little way, and join them when they resumed walking back to Hogwarts, but the wind had died down and silence suddenly enveloped the little hill. Harry took a step back and his foot crunched loudly on the gravel.
He didn't know why he did it, but as Lupin turned to look for the source of the noise, Harry suddenly pulled on the Invisibility Cloak in a panic. He stood there, not daring to move.
Lupin apparently hadn't seen him, because he turned back to look at Jeanne again. There was concern in his eyes, but Harry had the impression that he was waiting for her to speak first. It was so quiet that from where he was, Harry could hear almost every word they were saying.
Jeanne was silent for a while, but then spoke, suddenly.
"The sunset is beautiful, isn't it?" she said, in a strange voice.
"It is," said Lupin, his eyes not leaving her face.
She turned her face slightly away from Lupin, so that Harry could see her profile. She was biting her lip.
"If I had a clear conscience, I could look at such a sunset and enjoy it, without any inhibition," she continued.
Lupin remained silent.
She turned and looked at him.
"Do you remember that night in the clearing - you stopped me killing myself."
"I remember," said Lupin, quietly.
She turned to face the sky again, but Harry felt that she was seeing something else.
"When I was living in that cave," she said quietly, "I used to dream of the time when I'd gain my freedom again. I thought to myself, 'One day this nightmare will end. I'll walk again free under the stars. I'll feel the wind on my face, hear it rustling in the trees, and feel at peace again with nature and the world.'"
She paused.
"That night in the clearing, that wish should have come true. I woke up in the middle of the night. I looked up at the stars, I could hear the wind in the trees…"
She lowered her head to look down into the valley.
"…But I didn't feel at peace," she said softly.
She shook her head slowly.
"The stars were shining in the sky, the wind was moving in the trees…but I wasn't one with them any more. I was cut off from them. They were together, clean and in harmony. But I was dirty and alone. The dirt was inside me, in my heart and in my soul. I couldn't wash it away."
She was quiet for a few seconds, thinking, then continued.
"I thought, if I transformed into a bird, I might be able to leave this feeling behind; but - but it didn't work. I was soaring through the sky, but inside me, my heart just felt like a stone."
A tear must have rolled down her cheek, because Harry could see her dashing it angrily away. Her hands were stained bright red with blood again.
"Jeanne…" began Lupin.
"I'll always be unclean inside," she said angrily with a sob. "Always. There's nowhere I can run. I can run from Deorg, but I can't run away from myself. I'll carry this weight in my heart to my dying day!"
"Jeanne, stop it!" said Lupin sternly.
"I have dreams at night," she continued, ignoring him. "Horrible dreams. I hear people screaming. I see the look of horror in their eyes - "
"Jeanne!" said Lupin.
He caught her by the shoulders, forcing her to face him.
"Look at me, Jeanne," he said sternly. "Look at me!"
She looked at him defiantly.
"You are not evil," said Lupin sternly. "Deorg was possessing you. You were just the tool he used. Everything you did there was beyond your control. Stop blaming yourself for it!"
She was crying a bit, shaking with angry sobs. Controlling herself, she started talking very fast.
"Remus, if someone used a knife to kill someone you love - say your parents, and you later got hold of that knife, wouldn't it always be unclean for you? Would you ever use it as a normal knife? Wouldn't you want to destroy it? I'm that knife, I'm - "
"But you're not a knife, Jeanne, you're not a knife!" said Lupin angrily, giving her another shake. "You're a human being."
He stopped, because his own voice was shaking with emotion. He steadied it, then continued more quietly.
"I know you went through horrors during those years. I know they haunt you every day. But Deorg has gone now. You've got a chance to start over…you have a new life now.
"I've seen you fighting hard these past few months, Jeanne. You're doing fine, …all the work you do for Hagrid, helping him with his classes, helping Neville with his work, helping Madam Pomfrey…and what you do for me…"
He looked at her seriously.
"Don't throw it all away just because of the words of some idiotic fool, who doesn't know anything about life and never will. Have more faith in yourself. You hate yourself for what you've done; but there are people who care about you…Hagrid, myself, Harry, Dumbledore…we all want to help you. Don't let us down."
She grew quiet as his words sank in. The bloodstains faded from her hands. She wiped away her tears, and sniffed, then gave herself a little shake.
"You're right, of course," she said, in a muffled voice. Taking out her handkerchief, she blew her nose, then pocketed it.
"I don't know what got into me," she said, sounding subdued. "I just let that fellow get to me. Sorry."
Lupin looked sharply at her.
"Are you sure you're all right?" he said.
"Yes, yes, I'm fine," she said, not looking at him. She turned back toward the road. "It's getting late. We'd better go back."
She started walking back to the road. Lupin watched her for a moment, then gave a small shrug and followed. As they started off down the road, he turned, and looked straight at where Harry was standing.
"Come along, Harry. I know you're there. I saw you before you disappeared."
Harry felt his face burning. He removed the Cloak, and walked slowly toward them.
"Harry?" said Jeanne, looking at him. Traces of tears were still visible on her face. "Are you spying on us again?"
"I didn't mean to…" Harry said, agonized. "Professor McGonagall…she sent me after you…"
Jeanne put her arm around his shoulders, and gave him a quick squeeze.
"I don't mind, so long as it's you. You were there, weren't you… you saw what I went through…"
Her voice trailed off. She sighed.
"Come on," she said, not looking at either of them. "Let's go back." And she started off down the road.
To be continued.....you can access previous chapters from the author index under Kim.
