Harry woke up the next morning still feeling tired. He couldn't concentrate on lessons at all that day; he was in a stupor all throughout History of Magic, and later during Potions he hardly even heard Snape's sarcastic comments when his solution turned bright purple instead of blue.
"What's up, Harry?" asked Ron, looking worried. "You've been looking half asleep all morning."
"I'm all right," Harry muttered. "Just couldn't sleep last night."
He tried to study that afternoon in the Gryffindor common room, but his thoughts kept wandering.
"Just go and get it over with," he said to himself.
He looked at Ron and Hermione. Hermione was correcting Ron's history essay, and Ron was arguing with her.
Harry left them arguing and went out of the portrait hole. He made straight for Jeanne's room, but wasn't surprised when no one answered the door. He stood for a while outside the room, then made up his mind, and started off toward Professor Lupin's room.
Once he was standing outside the room, though, he suddenly changed his mind. Perhaps this wasn't a good time to come. He reached out a hand to knock on the door, then drew it back. After a moment's hesitation, he turned, and slowly made his way back down the corridor.
He was saved by Madam Pomfrey, who was coming from the opposite direction carrying a box. She looked like she was in a hurry.
"Ah, Harry," she said, looking pleased to see him. "Could you give this to Jeanne? She's in Professor Lupin's room. I have to rush off somewhere."
She gave him a warm smile, and then turned and rapidly disappeared down the corridor.
Harry looked in the box. There was an empty goblet there, together with what looked like a lot of herbs. He started off back toward Lupin's room.
Jeanne opened the door when he knocked. She looked surprised to see him.
"Madam Pomfrey asked me to give this to you," he said quickly.
She took the box from him, then stood there, looking at him.
"Jeanne," said Harry hurriedly, "About last night -"
"Hush," she said, holding a finger to her lips.
She glanced quickly back into the room, then turned to face him again.
"Come to my room tomorrow night," she whispered, leaning forward slightly. "I'll talk to you then." And then she turned and shut the door.
Harry felt slightly nervous as he made his way to Jeanne's room the following evening. She opened the door at once when he knocked, and invited him in.
He hadn't really seen the inside of Jeanne's room before. On the night of the Christmas Ball, he had been much too interested in watching Professors McGonagall and Lupin dressing Jeanne up to notice anything else. He now looked around. The room didn't look like the rest of the castle. Instead of stone, the walls and flooring consisted of pine strips. One entire wall had been replaced by floor to ceiling windows, so that, although the room was small, it did not feel enclosed. Jeanne had obviously tried to make the room feel as little like Deorg's cave as possible.
She smiled. "Do you like my room?"
Harry was almost too surprised to speak.
"Yes," he said, and looked at the floor to ceiling windows. "But how come -"
"It doesn't show on the outside of the castle?" She smiled. "I got Professor Flitwick to charm it for me."
She walked over to an old sofa, beckoning to him to follow.
"Please sit down. What would you like to drink? Tea? Coffee? Pumpkin juice?"
"Er - pumpkin juice," said Harry, thinking of the warm weather.
"Wake up, Drink Jug," she said, gently patting a round jug that had been snoring on the table. It woke up with a snort.
"Two pumpkin juices," she said. It shook itself awake, then jumped up and poured juice into two small glasses. Then, with a small belch, it promptly went back to sleep.
Harry looked at it in astonishment. Jeanne smiled.
"That was Neville's Christmas present," she said.
She gave him one glass, then, taking the other, sat back on the sofa, looking at him.
Harry took the glass, and sat holding it nervously, looking back at her.
"How is Professor Lupin?" he asked.
"Better," she said. "Full moon's over."
She looked at him.
"He's very angry with you, you know."
Harry groaned inwardly.
"I'm sorry," he said. "He…he wasn't hurt, was he?"
"A little," she said, looking soberly at him. "But Madam Pomfrey put it right."
Harry felt guilty.
"I won't do it again," he said quietly.
She shifted her position on the sofa, still looking at him. Was he imagining it, or were her eyes twinkling?
"I believe you," she said.
She took a sip from her glass, and Harry drank some as well.
He looked at her.
"So - it's true," he said.
She lowered her glass, and looked directly at him. "What is true?"
"That you - and Professor Lupin are - are -"
She looked at him soberly, and there was an unhappy look in her eyes.
"No, Harry," she said gently. "Like I said before, Remus and I are just friends."
For some reason, Harry just couldn't believe her. He had been so sure.
"Don't you care for him?" he blurted out.
She was quiet a while, as if pondering whether to answer. Then she seemed to make up her mind.
"Between you and me, well - yes, I do care for him," she admitted quietly.
"Then why - ?" said Harry.
She looked at him sadly. "Isn't it obvious?"
Harry stared at her.
"What? Because he's a werewolf? But - that's not fair! He's human too - he's -"
Jeanne put up a hand to silence him. She looked slightly distressed.
"Don't misunderstand me, Harry. I have no problem with him being a werewolf whatsoever. It's Remus who doesn't want the relationship to develop."
Harry couldn't believe her. He looked at the pendant at her throat, which he was certain Lupin had given her for Christmas.
"But - why?"
Jeanne gave a small sigh.
"He's afraid of hurting me," she said. "Even though I said we could be careful, there's the Wolfsbane potion, and besides, I can transform fast enough before anything can happen…he wouldn't agree. He said, we just need to be careless one time - just once, and that would be it."
She paused for a moment, looking out of the window.
"Actually, I knew from the beginning he would think this way," she said. "I had an answer to his every objection, but it still was no use."
"Every objection?" said Harry.
"Remus said I had no idea what life with a werewolf would be like," said Jeanne. "He felt he couldn't support me, or give me a good life - it has already been so difficult for him to find paid work. And he said it didn't matter whether I was a werewolf myself or not, so long as I'm with him, I'll be shunned by society - like an outcast."
She gave a rather bitter smile, and held up a hand to Harry. It was covered with bright red blood.
"As if I'm not already outcast," she said. "As if I care anything about society!"
She lowered her hand, and the red colour swiftly faded.
"Then, there was the question of children," she continued.
She stared at her glass.
"Just because he's a werewolf doesn't mean his children will be, you know," she said. "But he said, he couldn't do such a thing to them - letting them have a werewolf for a father. He was afraid of harming them, just as he was afraid of harming me."
She sighed. "I had an answer to that as well," she said, looking at Harry.
"What was it?" asked Harry, listening intently.
Jeanne hesitated before answering.
"I can't ever have children, Harry," she said at last. "Madam Pomfrey checked me when I came here. Some of the treatment I received from Deorg while I was in the cave damaged my womb so badly that I can never conceive a child."
Harry didn't know what to say.
"I-I'm sorry," he said.
Jeanne shrugged.
"In this case, it doesn't matter very much," she said. "That didn't convince Remus either. We had a very long talk that night, after the Christmas Ball. We talked everything out. He was angry with himself; said, he shouldn't have been so weak, to allow things to develop this far."
"But," said Harry, "You're still together. The two wolves…"
Jeanne took another sip from her glass, and looked absently out of the window.
"I knew from the beginning I wouldn't be able to convince him, anyway. I know him so well. So I said, why don't we just continue as we have been - as good friends. I'll still come and see him during full moon, or drop by to talk sometimes, as I used to."
"Just friends?" said Harry. "But - is it possible?"
Jeanne was looking at her glass of pumpkin juice, but Harry felt she was seeing something else.
"I'll make it possible, Harry," she said. "Remus means too much to me for me to give him up. I'll have him as a friend if nothing else. Besides…" her voice trailed away, and her gaze drifted to the window.
"I don't expect very much from life," she said. "After the hell I went through in Kamchatka, I'm just thankful I'm out of there and here in Hogwarts at all. I don't expect to be happy in life. I don't expect everything to go the way I want. Remus may not always teach here; I may not always be here either - if Deorg comes in search of me. If I can just have one or two years here, with him, as a good friend, I think I won't ask for more."
Harry was silent for a while, trying to absorb everything she was saying. Something she had said earlier kept coming to his mind.
"Jeanne," he said, "there's something I don't understand. That time - during Hagrid's class - when you were talking to Malfoy, you said Professor Lupin was an old friend…but how can that be? You'd only known him for a month!"
Jeanne gave a rather wistful smile.
"You're wrong, Harry," she said. "I've known him longer than that. I've known him ever since Deorg captured me and put me in that cave."
Harry didn't understand at all. He looked at her, confused.
"The first few weeks with Deorg were a nightmare for me," she said. "I tried to kill myself, but he put a spell on me so that I couldn't. I was going insane. I would have gone insane, if I hadn't discovered the mirror."
She looked at Harry.
"The first time the mirror spoke to me, it said it could do one thing for me," she continued. "It said it would give me a companion of my choice. I wouldn't be able to talk to him, but the mirror could show me all that was happening to him, so that at least I wouldn't be alone."
She paused, and looked down at the glass in her hands.
"I didn't know who to choose," she said. "I didn't want to choose my foster parents - because seeing them would just remind me they were dead. And I had no close friends. So I asked the mirror to make the choice, for me."
"I see," said Harry, slowly.
"The mirror then showed me a small boy," Jeanne went on. "He was screaming - he had just been bitten by a werewolf. His parents got him away in time, but had to lock him up when he transformed."
She turned to look at Harry.
"That's right, Harry," she said, seeing his expression. "It was Professor Lupin. The mirror chose him to be my companion."
Harry was too astonished to say anything.
"Remus was my only friend throughout those years of hell," said Jeanne. "I couldn't talk to him, but the mirror showed me many events of his life - his schooldays, his friends - with your father, James, and Sirius Black; and most of all, how much he suffered each time he transformed."
Her voice was shaking slightly, and she steadied it.
"I saw what happened after he graduated from school, how difficult it was for him to find work, all the discouragement." She bit her lip. "I guess I'd already fallen in love with him, back then. I didn't care, because I was so desperate. I didn't know whether he really existed, or whether he was just something the mirror had created. I never thought I'd really meet him."
She gave a small sigh, and fell silent.
"So that was why - that night, when we got you away from Deorg - you transformed back on your own," said Harry slowly.
Jeanne nodded. "Even in the state I was in, I think I somehow recognised him."
"And that's why - that time in the Three Broomsticks - you knew Sirius Black was innocent."
Jeanne shook her head.
"I didn't know at the time," she said. "The mirror hadn't shown me what happened in your third year. Remus only told me about it afterward. I was just angry with those officials at the time - they were so self-righteous and full of themselves. Besides, I liked Sirius - he was hot-tempered and volatile in school, but I liked him."
Harry was still thinking.
"And you must have known Snape already, as well, before you met him."
Jeanne looked rather tired now, but she gave Harry a small smile.
"Yes, I already knew Severus, and Albus Dumbledore," she said.
Harry looked at Jeanne.
"Professor Lupin - does he know about the mirror?"
She nodded. "I told him that night, after the Christmas Ball. I was afraid he would mind, it's as if I've been spying on him. But he didn't; he just said it was unhealthy for me to have known only one man, and that I should go out and meet more people, I might find someone I like better - " She broke off, looking slightly exasperated.
Harry was still thinking.
"I wonder why the mirror chose him," he said.
"I wondered that, too," said Jeanne. "Perhaps it was because we were similar - both of us trapped in bodies over which we had no control."
But Harry was thinking of something else. Grenivere had said Lupin's grandfather knew how to craft Starlight jewellery…and so did Jeanne's elderly jeweller friend. Was there a connection? He thought of the mirror in the cave…its frame…
"Jeanne," he said, "have you any idea where the mirror came from?"
She shook her head. "Like I told you, Harry, it was already there before I came."
"That elderly gentleman you knew as a child," said Harry, "did he make only jewellery?"
Jeanne was looking at the time, and only half-listening.
"The gentleman - what? Oh, well, it was a long time ago, I don't really remember," she said. She smiled at him.
"It's late, Harry. You'd better be getting off to bed."
She saw him to the door.
"Remus will want to talk to you tomorrow."
"Is he really angry with me?" asked Harry, feeling slightly apprehensive.
She smiled, and gave his arm an affectionate squeeze.
"If he is, it's because he's concerned about you," she said. "Good-night."
"Good night," he answered automatically, and then walked back to the common room, still thinking about everything he'd just heard.
Harry found himself, for the first time that year, not really looking forward to the next Defence Against the Dark Arts class. However, the next day Professor Lupin appeared to be his usual cheerful self, although he still looked rather tired and ill. They had an interesting lesson, and Harry began to hope that Lupin had forgotten about the incident in the Forbidden Forest.
Once the class ended, though, Lupin didn't start packing his books away, as he usually did. He merely stood by his desk, leaning slightly on it with arms folded, looking at Harry.
Harry's heart sank. Excuses ran through his mind. How could he explain why he'd been in the Forest? He didn't want to lie to Lupin. He thought of the two wolves, wild and free…
"You all go ahead," he said to Ron and Hermione, "I need to ask Lupin something."
When all the students had left, Harry gathered his own books, and slowly walked up to Lupin's desk.
Lupin didn't say anything. Harry, looking up cautiously, saw that he was looking seriously at him.
"Well, Harry?" said Lupin, at last.
Harry looked at the desk.
"I know I was wrong," he said. "I don't know what got into me that night…it was the moonlight…I'm sorry…"
Lupin was silent. He waited until Harry looked up at him again, before speaking.
"You know, of course, if we hadn't been there, you would be dead by now."
Harry nodded glumly.
Lupin looked stern.
”You know I should punish you, Harry; but unfortunately, this time I am not in a position to do so."
Harry looked at him in surprise.
Lupin gave a rather wry smile.
"…because I wasn't supposed to be there, either. No one has ever said anything, of course, but I believe there is an unspoken agreement that I should remain in my office when I transform."
Harry thought he saw a scar on Lupin's neck, but he couldn't be sure. He suddenly felt very guilty.
"I promise I won't do it again," he said, quietly.
Lupin gave a small sigh.
"Very well, Harry," he said. "I will hold you to your promise. You may go."
Harry went slowly to the door. He opened it, but then turned around.
"Professor Lupin?" he said.
Lupin had started to pack away his books. He stopped, and looked at Harry.
"Thank you - for saving my life," said Harry, his eyes on the floor.
Lupin looked surprised.
"Not at all, Harry," he said, more kindly. "I would do it again, if I had to. Now get along to your next class."
This made Harry feel worse.
"I really won't do it again."
"I'm sure you won't, Harry," said Lupin.
Harry looked up. Lupin's eyes were twinkling.
"Jeanne says she never saw anyone run so fast," said Lupin. "She thinks you must have broken the long distance record. She said to tell you, she never intended to hurt you, just teach you a lesson."
He smiled, and continued packing his things away.
Harry suddenly felt rather foolish.
Lupin no longer took any notice of him, but continued packing his books away, so Harry turned and started off toward his next class, still feeling foolish.
Exams were here. The students were all gathered in the Gryffindor common room, studying. Neville was sitting in a corner, his notes scattered all about him, studying his Potions textbook with an almost desperate look on his face.
Harry, who was sitting nearby with Ron and Hermione, looked at him.
"Why are you so uptight, Neville?" he asked. "You've been getting along all right in Potions lately, even though Snape doesn't seem to think so."
It was true. Neville had been making fewer mistakes of late, and more of his potions had been turning out the way they were supposed to, but Professor Snape was being nastier than ever to him, picking on the slightest mistake.
Neville turned slightly pale at the mention of Snape.
"I can't help worrying," he said. "I'm afraid something will go wrong. I can't let Jeanne down, she's been working so hard to help me."
"I'm sure you'll do fine, Neville," said Hermione, comfortingly. "Just keep your head, and be careful."
The day of the Potions exam arrived. They were each given a bunch of white roses, and were supposed to produce a potion that would change the roses to a wine red colour.
Neville worked feverishly on his solution, trembling whenever Snape came up to check on him. By the end of the period, his solution was pale green, as it was supposed to be. Snape scowled.
Neville tested some of the solution on one rose petal. It turned red at once. He was so jubilant that he jumped up, and dropped his spatula on the floor.
Harry, busily stirring in the last of his ingredients, didn't look up, but could hear Neville under the table, looking for the spatula.
There was suddenly a horrible gulping and belching sound from Neville's cauldron. Harry looked up, and saw Draco Malfoy sliding back into his seat. Malfoy's extra shrivelfigs, which Harry was sure he had seen on the table a few minutes ago, had disappeared.
Neville's cauldron was bubbling over, and the solution had turned a horrible purplish-black colour. Neville, emerging from beneath the table, gave a squeak of horror when he saw it, and then burst into tears.
Snape came over. "What's all the commotion here?"
"It was Malfoy!" shouted Harry angrily. "He threw his extra shrivelfigs into Neville's cauldron!"
"Prove it, Potter," drawled Malfoy. He was Snape's pet, and Snape would usually let him get away with anything.
"Where are your extra shrivelfigs, then?" demanded Seamus. "We were each allowed to take four. We only had to use two."
"I only took two from the supply pile in front," said Malfoy coolly.
Snape's eyes glittered.
"Five points from Gryffindor, Potter, for making unjustified accusations," he said.
Harry was furious.
"He took more than two shrivelfigs!" he said. "I saw them on his table!"
"Sir, it's true," said Hermione. "And we know we shouldn't put extra shrivelfigs in. The exam paper has a cautionary statement warning us not to."
"I did not notice Mr Malfoy taking more than two shrivelfigs," said Snape coldly. "I find it more likely that Longbottom has made one of his usual careless mistakes."
"But his potion was green! You saw it!" said Harry. "And he tested it on one petal!"
But the purplish-black solution had bubbled over onto the table, and the petal had dissolved in it.
"There is no time to repeat the experiment," said Snape, looking at his watch. "Longbottom, I will have to fail you."
Poor Neville just sat at his seat, sobbing heartbrokenly.
Neville spent the rest of the day sitting in a corner of the Gryffindor common room, staring at the wall. He refused to eat. The others tried to console him, but he refused to be comforted.
"I've let Jeanne down," he kept saying. "I can't face her. I don't know what to say to her."
Later that evening, a scops owl flew into the room. It flew straight over to Neville.
"It's a letter for you, Neville," said Harry.
Neville was still staring at the wall. "I don't want to read it."
Harry had a feeling he knew who had sent the letter. He opened it.
"It's from Jeanne," he said. "She wants to see you."
"I don't want to see her," said Neville. "I can't face her."
The scops owl was sitting on the floor next to him. It looked at him for a moment, and then it was gone; Jeanne was standing there instead.
"Neville," she said, looking at him.
Neville burst into tears again.
Jeanne looked rather stricken. She took Neville's hand, and gently led him out of the common room.
Neville didn't come back that night, but he appeared at breakfast the next morning looking much better.
"I'm all right now," he said. "Jeanne and I had a long talk last night. She said she spoke to Snape, and that he admitted he saw me testing the rose petal. So I'll get some marks, after all."
"That's great, Neville," said Harry.
Neville sighed.
"I really wanted to do well, though," he said, mournfully.
Hermione patted his shoulder.
"I'm sure you will, next year," she said.
